


Disassembled

by capsiclewidow



Series: The Tightly Tangled Web [5]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Canon Compliant, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:49:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 42,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26520145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/capsiclewidow/pseuds/capsiclewidow
Summary: “Where to, Cap?”Natasha turned around again to glance back at Steve. He was staring blankly ahead of him, the answer he was struggling with written plainly on his face. Finally he turned, eyes falling on Wanda and Vision in the corner.“Home,” he answered.“You sure?” Sam replied. Sam would do anything for Steve, but walking right into the Avengers headquarters in New York with the government still searching for them after two years was a lot to ask.But where else would they go? Thor was gone. Tony was missing. And whoever or whatever had started this wasn't going to give up now. Steve glanced over at Natasha, and she guessed he was debating the same thing. He frowned a bit, and she nodded.“I’m sure."
Relationships: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov & Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov, Wanda Maximoff & Natasha Romanov
Series: The Tightly Tangled Web [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1416916
Comments: 88
Kudos: 152





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Holy shit she's back. *shocked face*
> 
> anyway. this is part five in the Tightly Tangled Web series. I **highly recommend reading parts 1-4 before starting this one,** otherwise you might be a little lost. also, spoilers.
> 
>  **A few things:**  
>  \- I tagged major character deaths just to be safe, but like.......we all saw the movie right  
> \- The first chapter takes a lot of inspiration from the novel Avengers Infinity War: The Heroes’ Journey. I’ve mentioned it before, but if you haven’t read it there’s some great stevenat and stevenatsam moments so I highly recommend it.  
> \- Rating is mostly for language and to keep consistent with the rest of the series.  
> \- Title comes from the 2004 comic event Avengers Disassembled.

“Sam, you see anything?”

“ _Besides a whole lotta sand? Nope._ ”

Steve let out a frustrated sigh. The coordinates Fury had sent them were supposed to have lead to an active Hydra cell. They were in the middle of _nowhere_ , somewhere in the middle east, miles away from civilization. Fury had insisted that his intel was good, and they’d been tracking this particular group for days; but from what Steve could see from where he and Natasha were crouched behind a sand dune, the only thing in the middle of this desert at the moment was them.

And a whole lotta sand.

Natasha nudged Steve’s arm, and when he glanced over at her, she grinned.

“Easy missions are boring,” she reminded him. He rolled his eyes, but his lips still curved upwards. “This is either a really good sign, or a really bad one.”

“Let’s assume it’s a bad one,” Steve replied. Natasha glanced over at him again. “Then if it’s not, we’ll be pleasantly surprised.”

“I hate surprises,” she muttered lowly, her eyes going back to scanning the dark desert in front of them. Steve huffed out a laugh. “Bring it in, Sam,” she added into the comm link on her wrist. “We’re gonna have to smoke ‘em out.”

“ _Sounds dramatic_ ,” Sam quipped. “ _I’m gonna take one more lap and I’ll meet you at the jet._ ”

“Copy,” Steve replied, and when he glanced up he saw the glint of Sam’s wings in the moonlight as he glided through the air above them.

Natasha hopped up from their hiding spot, and Steve followed.

“You got a plan?”

“Not exactly,” she replied, glancing back at him over her shoulder with a smirk. “But I’ve got explosives.”

Steve gaped at her. “Are you sure it’s a good idea? That’ll attract a lot of attention.”

“Exactly.” She hopped up the ramp of the quinjet and headed towards the alcove that held her stash of weapons. She tapped the button on the wall to open one of the compartments. “If Fury gave us these coordinates, you know they’re good. They’ve gotta be underground.”

“So getting them to come out-“

“Will show us exactly how to get down there.” She spun back around, a flare gun in her hand, and narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. “How much fuel do we have?”

“Enough,” Steve replied with an exasperated sigh.

“Perfect.” She glanced up at him with an innocent grin. Steve rolled his eyes, but still smiled. Natasha inspected the flare gun in her hand, checking to make sure it was loaded. “So, I was thinking.”

“Yeah?”

Apparently deciding the flare gun was acceptable, she crossed over to set it down on the center console of the jet, then leaned back against it, crossing her arms. Steve raised an eyebrow at her, and when she smiled, he noticed the glint in her eyes even through the darkness.

“We should take some time off.”

“Should we?”

“Yes.” She shrugged, but the look in her eyes told him she was being anything but casual about this suggestion. “Might be nice to slow down for a couple weeks, stock up on supplies. Make sure our tracks are covered.”

“We _have_ been making a lot of noise lately.”

“We have,” she agreed. She pushed herself upright again and took a few slow, calculating steps towards him. Then came to a stop in front of him, suddenly fascinated with one of the seams in his suit, running her fingers lightly across his chest. “Plus…might be nice to have some time to ourselves.”

Steve watched her, his throat suddenly very dry. She was deliberately avoiding his gaze, but he saw a ghost of a smirk flicker across her face. He knew damn well what she was doing, yet suddenly he couldn’t do anything but play right into her trap.

“Yeah.” he said finally. Her eyes flickered up to meet his and she flashed him a devilish grin.

“We just gotta get rid of Sam.”

“ _Still on comms, guys.”_

Suddenly the spell was broken, and Natasha snorted out a laugh before turning away from him. Steve could feel his ears getting warm, but before she could get too far he reached up to turn off his earpiece and then wrapped his hand around her wrist, twisting her back around. He backed her into the center console and she gazed up at him with a raised eyebrow, daring him to make a move.

He just smirked at her and muted her earpiece too before pressing his lips hard against hers. She made a soft little surprised noise that died at the back of her throat when he slid his hand into her hair and tilted her head back, deepening the kiss. She slid her hands up his chest until they met around his neck, pulling him closer.

“First we go blow up a Hydra base,” she breathed, pulling back just enough to gaze up at him. “ _Then_ we can get rid of Sam.”

“Deal,” he muttered back, though the mission was the last thing on his mind. She grinned, then dropped one of her hands to pat him gently on the arm.

“Now please go use your big strong super soldier muscles to carry a barrel of jet fuel across the desert.”

Steve huffed out a laugh, leaning in for one more kiss before reluctantly letting her go, turning his comm link back on before heading to the back of the jet. There was a little compartment near the ramp that held a few extra barrels of fuel, and considering they were only for backup and the quinjet ran on repulsor engines, they’d been there for years. He pulled one out, and by the time he was rolling it down the ramp, Sam was landing just outside of the jet.

“What’s the plan?” he asked, glancing between Natasha and the barrel.

“If I’m right, as soon as that thing explodes they’ll come crawling out of their hole,” Natasha said. “You two keep them busy, and I’ll figure out how to get down there. When it’s clear, come find me.” She pulled out a flash drive from a pocket in her combat vest. “Once I plug this in, Fury will have access to their systems and be able to send in a tip to the authorities for cleanup. All we need to do is clear this place out and destroy as much stolen Chitauri tech as we can.”

With a plan set, Natasha returned to their previous hiding spot and Sam took off again, leaving Steve to hoist the barrel of fuel up over his shoulder and pick a spot in the middle of the clearing to place it. He wasn’t sure it particularly mattered where; if Natasha was right and there _was_ a bunker underneath them, there was no way they wouldn’t hear the explosion regardless of where it was.

“Ready, Sam?” Natasha asked into her comm link once Steve had met back up with her.

“ _Ready,_ ” came his reply in their ears. She glanced over at Steve for confirmation, and he nodded.

“Be careful.”

The corner of her lips curved upwards. “I’m always careful.”

“ _If you two are done having a moment,”_ Sam said drily.

Natasha just grinned in response and switched the flare gun into her left hand. She raised it towards the barrel and closed one eye to aim, letting out a slow breath before pulling the trigger.

The flare soared through the air in a beam of bright red. Her shot was perfect and it hit the center of the barrel, which exploded on impact. Steve pulled Natasha down beneath the cover of the sand dune, shielding her from the blast.

The explosion had been deafeningly loud in the silence of the desert, and shook the ground enough that even if they hadn’t heard it, there was no way they wouldn’t have felt it. Sure enough, after only a few minutes of waiting, Steve noticed the sand shifting in a spot not far from where the barrel had exploded. Suddenly the desert was being flooded with Hydra soldiers, seemingly appearing from out of nowhere.

“You’re up, boys,” Natasha said lowly, and with that she was sprinting away, using the cover of darkness to make her way towards the hidden entrance of the bunker.

Sam engaged first, swooping down from the air and getting their attention, giving Steve an opening to leap over the sand dune and attack from the ground. There were at least ten or twelve of them, but he was sure more would come.

The first soldier he met didn’t see him coming until the last second and he went down quickly with a punch to the face. As was typical with all of the Hydra cells they’d taken out over the years, these men were strong but not very well trained. They had encountered Hydra less and less since Strucker and Malick had been taken out, so most of the groups they came across were only remnants, last-ditch efforts to regain power. It seemed most of their highly trained members were either dead or in prison, and without any solid leadership, their numbers were dwindling fast.

“ _I’m in_ ,” came Natasha’s low voice in his ear, as he engaged a few other soldiers who had spotted him. “ _I marked the spot with the entrance. It’s pressure sensitive so it’ll open when you stand on it_.”

“Copy that, we’ll be there soon,” Steve panted back in between hits. One of the men grabbed him from behind and attempted to pull him into a choke hold, but Steve elbowed him in the gut and the guy stumbled backwards with a cry.

“ _Not too soon. You’ve got more heading for you_.”

Steve spun around and landed a kick in the same spot he’d just elbowed the guy, and he fell to his knees, gasping for breath.

 _“Great,”_ Sam replied bitterly.

Steve kneed the guy in the face and he slumped over. Sam was taking care of the remaining soldiers, but as soon as Steve glanced up, he saw the backup Natasha had mentioned. He let out a deep breath before sprinting at them, dodging blasts from their advanced Chitauri weapons as he went.

“I’m in.” Natasha paused, slipping around a corner that led off of what looked to be a main hallway. “I marked the spot with the entrance. It’s pressure sensitive so it’ll open when you stand on it.”

“ _Copy that,”_ Steve breathed back. “ _We’ll be there soon_.”

The sound of boots against the concrete caught Natasha’s ears, and she flattened herself against the wall, concealed in the shadows. As soon as she did another group of Hydra thugs came barreling out of a door at the end of the hall, heading for the stairs she’d come down on her way into the bunker.

“Not too soon,” she muttered lowly, lifting her wrist close to her lips to speak directly into her comm link. “You’ve got more heading for you.”

“ _Great_ ,” came Sam’s reply. Natasha peeked her head out from the corner to see the soldiers had disappeared up the stairs, so she stepped back into the hallway and took off in the direction they’d come.

“This place is a labyrinth,” she said, keeping her voice down just in case they decided to send more backup. “I’m going straight down the main hall, looks like that’s where they’re all coming from.”

Steve and Sam, probably busy with the newcomers, didn’t reply. Natasha headed for the door they’d just come through and, noticing they’d left it cracked open, peeked through to the other side.

Nick was right. Nick was _very_ right.

They’d gotten ahold of Chitauri tech, and a _lot_ of it. This main room seemed to be a small hangar, which housed an aircraft not much larger than a quinjet. It didn’t look completely finished yet, but based on the explosives being loaded onto it, she had a feeling it would be soon. There were also crates and storage units lining the walls, all filled with what looked like updated versions of Chitauri-inspired weaponry. A _lot_ of it.

Natasha swore under her breath and lifted her wrist up again.

“Gentlemen, I’m going to need your assistance down here,” she said lowly into her comms. She backed away from the door and turned to retreat back into the hall, but when she turned around, it was just in time for three men to appear from the hallway she’d just hidden in moments before. “Uh…sooner rather than later,” she added, then reached over her shoulder and whipped out one of her batons.

She had the element of surprise on her side, so when she lunged at one of them, he couldn’t do much to stop her from leaping up, wrapping her thighs around his neck, and dropping him to the floor. One of the others yelped and drew his weapon, but she landed in a summersault and smacked it out of his hand with her baton before he had the chance to aim. She jabbed the end of it into his side and charged it, and he cried out before crumpling to the ground, out cold. The third came at her from behind but she hopped back up to her feet and elbowed him in the stomach; he stumbled backwards, giving her an opening to lunge at him, shove him backwards into the wall, and smash his head against the concrete.

Natasha barely had time to catch her breath before the door to the hangar banged open. She sighed and activated her batons again as a handful of Hydra soldiers came charging at her.

This group was definitely not expecting them or anyone even remotely skilled to come after them. They were sloppy, fully relying on the firepower of the stolen tech and not so much on ability to fight. Natasha was able to take down the next wave with relative ease, but by the time she made it into the hangar, the entire bunker knew she was there. They were ready for her, and she had to duck behind a stack of crates that barely survived the barrage of cosmic blasts that was shot in her direction the second she came into view.

She pushed herself behind a giant support beam, hoping they’d at least be smart enough not to let the whole damn hangar come down in an attempt to vaporize her. She was never going to be able to get away and find a computer to insert the drive into with every single gun pointed at her.

She needed backup.

A blast hit something up on a storage shelf, and Natasha ducked to avoid a giant piece of flying debris. She let out a frustrated huff and lifted her wrist to her lips.

“Rogers, what’s your status?”

“ _Almost done out here_ ,” he answered breathlessly. He paused and grunted in effort as he presumably threw a punch. “ _You alright?_ ”

“I’ve got every single weapon firing at me right now, but…yeah, I’m fine,” she quipped back. A Hydra soldier braved a more direct approach, but Natasha twisted herself around and smacked him with her charged baton before he had time to fire. “I could _really_ use a super soldier and some wings right now though,” she added.

“ _You go, I’ll finish up,_ ” Sam said.

“ _Copy that. I’m on my way,”_ Steve replied.

With the promise of help on the way, Natasha dropped her wrist and shoved her batons back into their holster her back in favor of sliding her pistols out of their holsters. She whipped around the side of the support beam and started firing, aiming for anything that moved while ducking from the bright blue blasts being shot at her. She was able to take out a handful of them before needing to reload, so she twisted back around the corner of the beam to slide a new magazine out of a pocket on her vest.

The second she snapped it into place and prepared to fire again, there was a deafening _crack_ above her. She glanced up in the direction of the noise to realize one of them had hit the top of the support beam with some kind of rocket launcher and the whole thing was falling apart.

She bolted out from behind the beam, but a giant chunk of concrete landed in front of her, causing her to skid to a stop and spin around. A group of Hydra soldiers had taken advantage of the situation, effectively cornering her. She dodged a few more blasts being aimed at her - much too close for comfort, one of them almost close enough to singe the ends of her hair - but it was nearly impossible to avoid both them and the falling concrete while also trying to aim and take out as many as she could.

There was another crack and Natasha glanced up in time to see another piece of concrete about to break off. The top of the hangar thankfully wasn’t caving in, but the ceiling around the beam was beginning to crumble. She backed up, but she had nowhere to go.

 _“_ S _hit_ ,” she breathed, her heart racing in her chest. A giant chunk of debris landed next to her and she twisted out of its way, but when she looked up there was a rifle pointing right at her face.

She only had a split second to realize this was _probably_ not going to end well when a shadow flew over her. Steve’s boots rammed into the face of the guy pointing the gun at her and he crumpled to the ground. Steve then twisted around and reached for her, wrapping his arm securely around her waist and practically hauling her over the giant piece of concrete behind them, just before another landed in the spot they’d just been.

“About damn time you showed up,” she panted, pushing herself to her feet and raising one of her pistols to take out the three Hydra agents closest to them with three successive shots. Steve just smirked at her before spinning around and punching a fourth in the face.

The soldiers who’d tried to corner her had finally realized she’d disappeared and were changing course, turning their attention to the other side of the hangar. They were too exposed like this…they needed cover. Natasha spun around and grabbed Steve by the wrist, tugging him in the direction of the jet. She ducked a bullet that whizzed by her ear, rolling into a summersault behind one of the giant wheel, finally able to let out a long breath.

“You alright?” Steve panted, once he’d crouched down next to her. They seemed safe for at least a few seconds, as they seemed reluctant to fire towards their jet. Considering they they’d been loading explosives onto it earlier, Natasha was grateful for that.

“Yeah.” She unloaded the pistol that was empty, taking advantage of the second of reprieve to reload again. Then she peeked out from behind the wheel, her eyes scanning for some kind of exit. “I have to find a computer. Can you cover me?”

“Yeah.” Steve nodded towards a wall of windows on the opposite side of the Hangar. “That looks like a control room. Can you get there?”

“Yeah.” Natasha raised her wrist to her mouth again. “Sam, how are you doing?”

“ _On my way!”_ he replied. “ _We’ll distract them so you get to that control room.”_

“Copy that,” Natasha replied. She turned to Steve, offering him a crooked grin. “Don’t die, Rogers.”

The smile he gave her in return was a bit too soft considering the situation they were currently in, and it made her heart flutter. For a split second she forgot where they were, momentarily distracted by the look in his eyes and the way they sparkled bright blue even under the shitty fluorescent lights.

“You either.”

Sam just groaned irritably in their ears.

Suddenly there was an explosion from across the hangar, snapping them back into reality. Natasha peeked out from behind the wheel again to see Sam flying overhead, firing a few missiles towards the empty space in the middle of the hangar. Her immediate thought was that the missiles were a bit excessive, but the hangar - which wasn’t very large to begin with - was suddenly filled with smoke and chaos. All of the soldiers on the other side of the jet were now trying to either find cover or locate Sam, and had seemingly completely forgotten about her and Steve.

“Thanks Sam!” she said into her wrist, and then she was running, ducking behind whatever she could and using the smoke from a fresh round of missiles to make her way over to the control room.

There weren’t many agents to take out once she’d broken through the door and made her way inside. They all seemed to be techs, not soldiers, and though they drew their weapons, they looked almost intimidated by her. Rightfully so, because less than a minute later she had them all either tied up or unconscious on the floor.

There was a row of computers that faced away from the giant wall of windows, so she picked the one on the end closest to the door and plugged in the flash drive. It held a program that was originally developed by SHIELD, but that she’d made her own adjustments to over the last couple years. It would pick through their system at lightning speed, copy intel that she’d specifically coded it to recognize onto a secure server only she, Fury, and Maria had access to, and then completely fry the entire original server. Then, considering their current status with the government, she’d programmed it to send in a delayed, completely untraceable anonymous tip to the CIA, who could then send in local law enforcement to arrest whoever was left.

Part of her was a bit bitter that the CIA got all the credit for effectively wiping Hydra off the map, but she was also pretty sure they knew _exactly_ who was responsible for all of the anonymous tips.

Another explosion rocked the bunker, and Natasha glanced up over the computer console to peer out into the hangar. She could still see Sam soaring above, and when she scanned the ground, she caught a glimpse of Steve, twisting in and out of cover and taking out as many agents as he could.

Even after two years it still made her anxious to think about him out there without his shield, but on their off time she’d been trying to help him get used to fighting without it, to use his surroundings as a shield like she did. He’d already had some pretty extensive modern fight training while they worked for SHIELD, but he’d asked her for the help and she wasn’t going to say no. It had taken him a _long_ time to get used to fighting without it - in all honesty she still didn’t think he had - but at least it had been a good distraction.

The computer chimed, signaling the program’s completion. Natasha’s eyes dropped back down to the monitor and she pulled the flash drive out, tucking it safely back into a pocket on the inside of her vest.

“Ready when you are,” she said into her comms, pulling out one of her pistols before heading for the door of the control room.

“ _Sam, can you target that jet on our way out?”_

“ _Abso-_ lutely _I can_ ,” Sam replied, and Natasha chuckled at the excitement in his voice at prospect of blowing up a jet full of explosives. They usually had to be a lot quieter than this, but since they were in the middle of nowhere and had to get rid of the stolen tech before it fell into the wrong hands again, it was really their best option this time.

Natasha snuck out of the control room, ducking behind debris and stacks of crates on her way across the hangar.

“Let’s get going, we only have about fifteen minutes before the CIA gets our-“

“ _Nat, watch out!”_

She trailed off at the panic in Steve’s voice, whipping her pistol up as she spun around. A stray Hydra soldier had spotted her and turned his rifle on her.Her eyes fell on him and she aimed her pistol at him, but suddenly he shifted his attention to a spot behind her. She glanced over to see Steve sprinting straight at him, and before Natasha had time to take the guy down, two shots rang out and Steve collapsed.

Natasha’s blood turned to ice in her veins, and without thinking she emptied the rest of her magazine, dropped her pistol before the soldier had even hit the ground, and was sprinting towards Steve, several bullets and cosmic blasts barely missing her as she ran. She fell to her knees next to him, her kneepads scraping harshly against the cement, and grabbed his arm to roll him onto his back. Her stomach lurched when she saw the two splotches of red on his uniform: one on his abdomen and another right above his heart.

“Steve!” He gasped and his eyes flew open, glassy and unfocused. Natasha leaned over him, covering the wound on his chest with one hand and taking his face in the other, forcing him to look at her. “Come on, Rogers. Stay awake.”

“I’m awake,” he gasped, and Natasha let out a breath of relief. At least he was responsive.

“ _Get him back to the jet!_ ” she Sam said in her ear. Natasha tore her eyes away from Steve to find him, dealing with another small group that had come from a door on the other side of the room. “ _I’ll hold them off and meet you there!_ ”

Natasha shifted her focus back to Steve, desperately trying to stop her hands from shaking. He’d closed his eyes, so she lightly tapped his temple to get his attention. They flickered back open, and he blinked a few times while he tried to focus on her.

“I’m gonna help you up, okay?”

“M’kay.”

Natasha pulled her trembling hand away from the bullet wound on his chest, trying not to notice how much blood had soaked through her gloves. She took a deep breath - _focus_ \- and slid her hands under his shoulders to help him sit up.

Steve let out a low groan when she lifted him off of the ground, but squeezed his eyes shut and pushed through it. He didn’t seem to have any range of motion in his left shoulder - the bullet was probably still stuck in there - so Natasha adjusted herself around to his other side. She slid her arm around his waist and draped his over her shoulders, giving him some leverage, and slowly helped him to his feet. He stumbled a bit, causing her knees to buckle under his weight, but she was able to steady him before they toppled over again.

It was a slow process, but Natasha managed to get him across the room while Sam ran interference and kept the remaining soldiers busy. When the door to the hallway shut behind her it threw them into silence, and Steve’s labored breaths in Natasha’s ear seemed even louder. He wobbled a bit and tilted towards the wall, unable to steady himself with his useless shoulder. Natasha had to let him lean against it before she lost her grip on him.

“Nat, j-just go,” he panted, his eyes squeezing shut again. He twisted so his back was against the wall, and it took all of Natasha’s strength to prevent him from sliding down it to the floor.

“No. Come on.”

“Y-you hafta get…get out of here,” he breathed. He took a few sharp breaths before continuing, forcing eyes open to find hers. “Bef-before they g-get here-“

“Shut it, Rogers. I’m not leaving without you.”

Steve sighed, letting his eyes slip shut again.

“N...N’tasha-“

“Hey. Look at me.” He didn’t respond. “ _Steve._ ” Natasha sacrificed her hold on him in favor of lifting one of her hands to rest against the side of his face. Finally his eyes fluttered open again, and he gazed blearily down at her. “I am _not_ leaving you. You hear me?”

“Y-yes ma’am,” he muttered finally, and despite his condition she still saw a ghost of a smirk on his lips.

“Good. You ready?”

Steve sighed and squeezed his eyes shut, but nodded. Natasha dropped her hand to his side again, helping him shift his balance back to her. He was a bit shaky on his feet but was able to keep himself upright and take a few more steps forward.

Somehow he’d managed to find the strength to help her get him up the steps, but once they were back outside, he struggled with the shifting sand under their feet. He was losing a lot of blood and Natasha knew he was fading fast - his steps were sloppy and the longer they walked, the more he leaned on her - but she couldn’t panic yet. Instead she focused on one step at a time, tightening her grip on him and keeping him steady as they made their way back to the jet.

Getting up the ramp seemed to have taken the rest of his energy, because as soon as they were back inside the jet, he stumbled and his knees hit the floor, taking Natasha with him. She practically dragged him across the floor and adjusted him so that he was sitting upright, his back against the center console, before shifting her attention to his wounds.

He’d lost a lot of blood already, and if his rapid heartbeat and pale, clammy skin was any indication, he was already going into hypovolemic shock. She got to work on his suit, unclasping the harness that he still wore despite not having his shield. When she pulled him forward to slide it off of his shoulders he fell into her, his head falling against her shoulder.

“Hey…none of that, okay?” She helped him sit upright again, bringing her hands to cup each side of his face, trying to keep them from shaking. He was struggling to keep his eyes open. “I need you to stay awake.”

It took him a second, but he bobbed his head up and down twice. Natasha quickly finished removing the top half of his suit, leaving him in just his undershirt. At one point it had been grey; now it was almost completely soaked red.

Natasha sucked in a sharp breath at the sight of it, tightening her jaw and forcing herself to focus. She couldn’t panic now, not when Steve needed immediate medical attention and Sam was still fighting his way out of that bunker. She’d panic later, when they were safe and far away from here. So she took a deep breath and pulled his t-shirt off, wadding it up and pressing it hard against the wound on his chest.

She hadn’t seen any exit wounds, which meant the bullet to his abdomen was probably still in there too. She covered that one with a trembling hand, silently begging Sam to hurry. Steve’s eyes were still closed, his head leaning back against the console. His breaths were still shallow, but they were slowing down.

“Steve.” His eyes fluttered, but they didn’t open. “ _Rogers._ ”

Natasha lifted her hand from his abdomen, wiping it on her thigh to get as much of his blood off of it as she could before letting it rest on the side of his face again, tilting his head upright towards her. He sucked in a sharp breath as if she’d woken him up, his eyes fluttering again and finally blinking open. He gazed at her with glassy eyes that she could tell he was struggling to keep open.

“Come on, babe. Stay with me,” she said softly, unable to hide how much her voice shook. She brushed her thumb across his cheek, trying to get his attention.

“‘M awake,” he muttered finally, forcing his eyes open.

Natasha dropped her hand to cover the wound on his abdomen again, busying herself with checking the other one under the wadded up t-shirt. The bleeding seemed to be slowing down a bit, but not enough to offer her any kind of relief. Her jaw tightened, and she twisted the t-shirt around, trying to find a clean spot to wipe away some of the blood. She hadn’t noticed how quick her breaths had become or the wetness in her eyes until Steve lifted a shaking hand to rest his palm against her knee.

“Nat.” Natasha pressed the t-shirt against his chest again before letting her eyes flit upwards to meet his bleary gaze. He blinked slowly, his brows furrowing as he tried to concentrate. But he did, his eyes never leaving hers. “I love you.”

Despite everything, Natasha let out a huff, her lips twitching upwards into what could almost be considered a smile despite the way her bottom lip was trembling. He somehow managed to offer her a sideways smile, even if it was only just an uptick of his lips.

“I know,” she breathed back, and his grip on her knee tightened just enough for her to feel it. “I love you too.”

Steve only blinked, a crease forming between his brows again. He opened his mouth but seemed to only be able to gape at her.

Suddenly there was a _thud_ behind her, and Natasha whipped her head around only to let out a sigh of relief when she saw it was Sam. He immediately drew in his wings and slammed his hand against the button to close the ramp before hurrying across the jet towards them.

“We’ve gotta hurry,” he panted as he met up with them. He went to Steve’s other side, dropping to his knees beside them and taking the t-shirt from her.“I’m picking up signals from local law enforcement, they’ve already dispatched units to this area in response to the explosions.”

“Shit,” Natasha breathed.

“How’s he doing?”

“Hanging in there,” she answered.

“Good. Get us out of here.”

Natasha nodded, letting Sam take over. Once both of her hands were free she went to back away, but hesitated. Instead she leaned in and pressed her lips against the clammy skin of Steve’s forehead, only slightly caring that Sam was right there.

“No dying today, you hear me?”

Steve’s eyes had fluttered shut again, but his lips ticked upwards and he managed a small nod.

“P-promise,” he breathed.

“ _Natasha_.” She glanced over to Sam, who nodded towards the cockpit. He looked just as worried and panicked as she felt. “We have to go. _Now_.”

Natasha swallowed thickly, reluctant to leave Steve’s side, but nodded. Sam was the one with medical training, which meant she was in charge of getting them the hell out of here before the authorities arrived and arrested them. So she took a deep breath and ignored Steve’s pained cries as Sam maneuvered him onto his back to get to work removing the bullets, and made her way to the cockpit.

At first she wasn’t sure where to go. She supposed Wakanda was an option,that Shuri definitely had the resources to provide medical care if needed. But Steve didn’t like to intrude. The two of them had visited a few times over the last year, ever since James had woken up, but every time he’d cleared it with T’Challa first. The king insisted they were always welcome, but she knew Steve didn’t want to take advantage of that.

An idea suddenly popped into her head, and she quickly typed in the coordinates for her safehouse outside of Volgograd. It wasn’t a long-term solution by any means, but it had medical supplies and a bed, which she knew would be much more comfortable than the pile of blankets in the alcove that they normally slept on. She winced as she heard Steve cry out again behind her, then pulled the jet up into the air, willing it to go faster.

By the time they arrived in Volgograd, Steve had fallen asleep. After ensuring he was stable Sam had taken over flying the jet, allowing Natasha to keep an eye on Steve for the rest of the flight. She knew he probably wouldn’t wake for a while; Sam had used up the rest of their morphine in an attempt to make it actually affective, which would mean risking another supply run before they headed out again, but Natasha was just grateful he wasn’t in as much pain.

Sam landed behind the garage, keeping the jet in stealth mode and packing up whatever medical supplies he’d need for the next couple days while Natasha did a quick sweep of the property. It looked pretty untouched since the last time she’d been there two years ago, but she couldn’t be sure no one noticed Steve and James leaving for the Raft until she checked everything over.

After several minutes of Natasha attempting to wake Steve, it took both her and Sam to get him into the house. They moved him to one of the bedrooms, his large frame taking up most of the tiny twin bed. He ended up passing out again - Sam must have absolutely _flooded_ his system with morphine for it to affect him so much - leaving Natasha to crawl in next to him, sitting sideways with her legs crossed and her back against the wall.

She knew there were things she should be doing; the place could probably use a good cleaning, especially if they were going to be there for the next few days. They hadn’t been able to properly wash their clothing or bedding in weeks, and she’d invested in a decent washing machine for this place years ago for exactly that reason. She also couldn’t remember the last time she’d eaten, and Steve would no doubt be starving when he woke up again, especially considering how hard the serum was working to heal his injuries.

But despite all of that, she couldn’t bring herself to leave his side. This was all too familiar, and while she knew he’d be fine - Sam had assured her - she needed to make sure for herself, needed to keep an eye on him to make sure things didn’t take a turn for the worst.

Plus, she was _exhausted_. They’d spent the last few days in the middle of the desert narrowing down the location of that bunker, and before that they’d almost had a run in with local authorities in a small town outside of London while tracking a ring of black market arms dealers, which resulted in about two weeks of narrowly avoiding arrest.

But now that they were here - somewhere safe, and familiar - all she wanted to do was sleep. She resisted for a couple hours, reminding herself that Samwas asleep himself in the other room and someone needed to keep watch, but as the hours went by, it became harder and harder to keep her eyes open. Finally she gave in and let them fall shut…only for a few minutes, of course. She could feel herself drifting and was _almost_ asleep when Steve suddenly groaned softly, cutting through the sleepy haze.

Natasha’s eyes flew open, just in time for Steve to shift uncomfortably and try to push himself upright.

“What the hell are you doing?” Natasha said, forcing her muscles to start working again so she could attempt to hold him still.

“Sitting up,” he breathed, his voice raspy with sleep. He tried again, his brows creasing against the pain. Natasha huffed irritably and leaned over to help him before he hurt himself. He winced, but she finally got him upright, his back up against the wall with a pillow supporting it.

Natasha inched closer to him and pulled her legs underneath her, leaning back against the wall again, still sideways on the bed. She reached up to brush his hair out of his face for him, and he offered her a sleepy crooked smile in response.

“How do you feel?”

“Like I got shot,” he replied drily. Natasha just rolled her eyes.

“Why the _hell_ did you do that?”

She hadn’t planned on bringing it up this soon after he woke up, but now that she knew he as okay, suddenly everything she’d been forcing herself to hold back since the second he was shot came crashing down on top of her.

Steve sighed. “ _Nat_ -“

“That was so _stupid_ ,” she hissed, cutting him off. She could feel her voice shaking, just a little, but she masked her blinding fear from earlier with anger. “We don’t have adequate medical supplies, and we can’t take you to a hospital. If Sam wasn’t able to get those bullets out of you…you could have _died_.”

“Yeah, and you _would_ have,” he replied before she could continue. She just glared at him. “My serum is stronger than yours. I’ll recover, but you wouldn’t have.”

“You’re not _invincible!_ ” Natasha let out a frustrated sigh and averted her gaze, but her eyes got distracted by the gauze wrapped around his torso. It was stained with little pinpricks of dark red, even though the wound itself had probably already started to heal. Then her gaze traveled upwards, to the white patches over his shoulder. Just above his heart. “Just because you heal quickly doesn’t mean you can just let yourself get shot. If that one had been just an inch lower-“

“It wasn’t.”

Natasha rolled her eyes again. “That’s not the point.”

“What am I supposed to do? Let you get shot instead?”

“Yes.”

“Natasha-“

“I can handle myself.”

“I know you can.”

“I don’t need you to rescue me. And-”

“ _Natasha_.“ Steve squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, and Natasha let out a huff. When he met her gaze again she stared back at him, fighting to keep a straight face, blinking furiously against the wetness in her eyes. “I know you can handle yourself. I _know_ you don’t need me to protect you. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to just… _watch_ you get killed.”

“So I have to watch _you_ get killed instead?” She didn’t let her expression budge, but her voice still cracked. Suddenly it all felt so _real_ , how close she’d gotten to losing him. _Again._ “This is the _second_ time I’ve had to sit there helplessly while you bled out in front of me. Both times you were lucky. How many more is it going to take? For it to hit your heart, or…or your head? I can’t-“

Her voice cracked again, loudly despite her hushed tone, and she paused to suck in a shaky breath. She’d been avoiding the memory all day, but it had lingered there since she saw him fall to the ground. All she could see was him lying on the bank of the Potomac: blood everywhere, choking on water, riddled with bullet holes and barely breathing. That empty, glassy look in his eyes had haunted her for _years_ , and she’d hoped never to have to see it again.

Steve didn’t argue, and Natasha didn’t look him in the eyes, but she could feel the look he was giving her: that sad, puppy-eyed one overflowing with guilt and regret.

“I won’t let you trade your life for mine, Steve,” she said finally, once she was able to form words again.

“Who said anything about trading?” Natasha just sighed, so Steve reached for her. He winced as he did, but still managed to slide his hand over to hers and pull it into his lap. “If anything ever happened to you… _especially_ if I knew I could have prevented it…I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.”

“A lot of people rely on you, Steve,” she argued weakly. “If it’s between your life, and mine? You can’t-“

“Do not finish that sentence.” Natasha tried to glare at him again, but wasn’t convinced that was the look he received. Her bottom lip trembled when she met his gaze again. “I don’t want to hear it. We don’t trade lives, got it?”

This wasn’t a battle she was going to win. Natasha stared at him for a few seconds, her brows furrowed, before she let out a long breath and let her fingers curl tightly around his.

“Do _not_ do that again.” She lowered her voice in an attempt to steady it. It didn’t work very well. “If you’d have died...”

“I know,” he replied softly. His lips curved upwards into a soft, apologetic smile. “I’m sorry.”

“You better be.”

“I am.”

Natasha just let out a long, exhausted breath, closing her eyes and letting her head lean back against the wall as Steve rubbed the pad of his thumb across her knuckles. Regardless of how upset she was and the circumstances of retreating to a safe house, it was still kind of nice finally having some time to themselves. Sam tried to give them space just as they tried to give him his, but between tiny motel rooms and the jet, these quiet moments were few and far between.

Suddenly Steve let out a soft chuckle, and Natasha forced her eyes open. He was watching her, a smile playing on the corner of his lips.

“What?”

The smile curved into her favorite dopey, sideways grin, and she swore she felt her heart flutter in her chest at the sight of it.

“You told me you loved me.” Natasha frowned, too exhausted to comprehend what he meant, but her heart rate skyrocketing nonetheless. “On the jet. You told me you loved me.” He paused, his hand squeezing hers lightly. “You’ve never said it in English before.”

Natasha’s brows furrowed, and she let herself think back to when they were on the jet. She _had_ said it. She’d been internalizing her fear and panic so much, hadn’t even realized.

She’d been so terrified to say it at first. He did, though she could tell it wasn’t as much as he wanted to. He tried so hard to respect that she wasn’t there yet, and she loved him even more for it. He knew how she felt, and it didn’t seem to matter if she didn’t say it out loud.

But as more time went on, she stopped thinking about it. She’d let it slip out in Russian every once in a while, which was still terrifying at first, but she got used to it. Somehow it was easier knowing - well, _thinking_ \- he didn’t know what it meant. She thought it might help herself ease into saying it in English, but it had become enough of a habit that she never put any thought into it before.

She was trying to come up with some sort of reply, but her mind went blank. Instead she glanced up at him, narrowing her eyes.

“Since when do you know Russian?”

Steve huffed defensively. “Hey, I know how to Google things.”

Natasha averted her gaze again, her heart pounding in her chest. She was suddenly back in his hotel room two years ago, hearing him finally tell her how he felt and trying to do the same. She hadn’t been able to, even though she had no doubt he knew. That was one of the reasons they _worked_. She wasn’t good with _feelings_ , with putting to words to the things she felt. But with Steve, it never seemed to matter. He’d always seemed to understand her, even back before SHIELD fell, before they even started to trust each other as partners.

“I do, you know,” she whispered finally, after a few long seconds of silence. She lifted her gaze to meet his again. “I do…love you.”

“I know,” he replied softly, mirroring her words to him two years ago, which she’d been repeating ever since. The corner of Natasha’s lips curved upwards into a soft smile, which he returned. Now that she’d said it - out loud, in English, to _him_ \- it hadn’t been that scary at all. It was quite the opposite, actually.

“I don’t think I’ve ever said that out loud to anyone before,” she added, more to herself than to Steve, her smile fading. “Not even Clint.”

“Why not?”

She lifted her gaze to meet his again. He had that _look_ on his face, wide eyes and that soft, kind expression with the hint of a crease between his brows, the one that always made her feel so vulnerable.

“I don’t know,” she replied, letting out a long breath. “Admitting how much I cared about someone, even if they already knew…it always seemed so terrifying.”

Steve watched her for a few more seconds, then tightened his grip around her hand.

“Come here.”

She didn’t want to aggravate his injuries, even though he seemed to be doing okay…but that _look_ he was giving her was too overwhelming, and suddenly the small distance between them still felt like too much. She adjusted herself around so she was sitting next to him, and he let go of her hand to slide it behind her back instead. She curled into him, letting her head fall to rest on his shoulder. Then she pulled the blanket up over them and carefully wrapped her arm around his waist, avoiding the wound on his lower abdomen.

“I am sorry,” he said again, ducking his head as far as he was able to so he could brush his lips against her temple. “But I would do it again if it meant saving your life.”

Natasha couldn’t come up with a response. She knew that. Of _course_ she did, and he knew she’d do the same for him. She didn’t really have a right to be angry, especially knowing he’d have had a similar reaction if the roles were reversed.

But the thought of him sacrificing his life for hers, of him getting himself killed? It scared the absolute shit out of her.

“Well, have them aim for somewhere less fatal next time,” she came up with finally, her voice no louder than a breath. Steve huffed out a soft laugh.

“Yes ma’am,” he mumbled against her hair.

“Don’t you _ma’am_ me, Rogers. I’m still mad at you.”

Steve let out a low chuckle that vibrated through his chest despite the slight wince of pain that followed, and Natasha nuzzled into his neck, curling her hand around the blanket. She could never admit it out loud - she could barely even admit it to herself - but she didn’t know what she’d do without him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok look, i know it's been 11 months (not counting one measly little chapter of deadly origins). it a weird year, right? 
> 
> i just wanted to first of all, apologize, because this took so much longer for me to work on than I thought it would. I legitimately intended on having disassembled completely finished by may. but black widow got pushed back, then i wasn't working for a couple months, then i went back to work, then i quit my job, and now i'm only kinda working, and it's just been super weird and crazy and i've had zero inspiration or motivation for anything in months. disassembled has been like 60% finished for about six months but i just........didn't finish it.
> 
> I also want to say thank you to everyone who's still asking me about updates, re-reading, leaving comments, etc. I see every single one and I appreciate them a lot <3
> 
> anyway i hope a nice long first chapter and some fluff makes up for it?? 🙈 the good news is, since the whole thing is pretty much done, you can expect frequent updates yaaaaaay 
> 
> ok i'll shut up now enjoy (:


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> russian translations at the end.  
> (i use mostly google translate pls don't @ me if it's wrong)

**VOLGOGRAD, RUSSIA**

“Don’t move.”

“I’m not.”

Natasha ran her hand through Steve’s hair, the wet strands gliding through her fingers as she parted it.

“You were. How short do you want it?”

“I dunno. Shorter than this.”

Natasha rolled her eyes, but couldn’t help the slight upwards twitch of her mouth. “Not helpful.”

“Out of my face. And not so tangly.”

“Better.” She got to work, pulling out one section and lining up her scissors. He shifted in his seat again. “Rogers, _stop moving_.”

“Sorry!”

Natasha grinned fully now, pulling his hair tight and trimming a few inches off of the ends. He did this _every time_ she cut his hair.

She started at the top, pulling it upright between her fingers and snipping off a good inch. It had been a few months since she’d last trimmed it and had grown quite long, parting in the middle with the ends almost touching his shoulders. He’d tried it out for a while; with a beard and his hair this long, he was nearly unrecognizable. But he hated pulling it back, and whenever he didn’t it would fly into his face and get in his mouth. Plus, it so thick that if he didn’t comb it regularly it would tangle.

For someone who had taken as many hits in their life and almost died as many times as Steve had, he could get really whiny about his hair.

Then that morning, Sam had made a comment about how his hair was longer than Natasha’s. She’d choked on her tea before offering to braid it for him, and an hour later he finally asked her to trim it.

They had time, at least. The last few months had been busy enough thatinsignificant things like haircuts had been the last thing on their minds. Fury’d had them flying all over the world taking out the remnants of Hydra; after almost two years Natasha had gotten used to being on the run, but hiding out in the safe house while Steve recovered - taking a _break -_ was actually sort of nice.

When she was finished, Natasha sat the scissors down on the bathroom counter and ran her fingers through Steve’s hair again. It was nearly dry now, so she pulled it back away from his face and tucked it back behind his ears. It was still long - she kinda liked it, if she was being honest with herself - but it would definitely be a lot easier for him to deal with.

“Done,” she said, dropping her hands to his shoulders. He reached up and ran his fingers through it himself. “Better?”

“Yeah. Thanks.” He smiled at her through the mirror, then dropped his hand to rub across his jawline. He normally kept his beard relatively short, but had let it grow out along with his hair. “Should I-“

“No,” Natasha said, much too quickly, cutting him off. Steve’s eyes lifted to meet hers again and his eyebrow twitched upwards. She just shrugged. “It hides your face.”

“Sure.” He stood suddenly, turning to tower over her, his lips curving upwards into a grin. “I’m sure there’s no other reason.”

“You look too much like you with it shaved,” she explained, glancing up at him and raising a challenging eyebrow. His grin grew wider as he drew closer to her.

“Mhm.”

“And, if we’re being _practical_ …it’s much harder for facial recognition to-“

He cut her off, sliding one arm around her waist and pulling him towards her, then letting the other rest on the side of her face before pressing his lips hard against hers. It knocked the breath out of her, but it was enough for her to give in and let him back her gently into the wall behind them.

“I think you just like it,” he murmured lowly, lips moving against hers. Natasha swallowed hard, her throat suddenly very dry, ignoring the feeling of the coarse hairs on his chin tickling her lips. She finally glanced up at him and met the amused look in his eyes.

“I’m not _opposed_ to it.”

Steve just grinned.

“Hey, guys? The-“ Sam stopped short and let out a groan that was equal parts disgusted and annoyed. “Come on, really?”

Steve backed away suddenly, running into the chair he’d just been sitting on and sending it toppling over into the bathtub. Natasha snorted.

“Sorry to _interrupt_ ,” Sam continued with a roll of his eyes. Steve’s face flushed, something that still happened regardless of how many times Sam had walked in on them like this. “We have a situation.”

“What kind of situa-“

His voice faltered quickly when he glanced down and saw what Sam had in his hand.

It was the burner phone.

“Tony?” Steve asked, once he’d regained his voice. Sam glanced over and caught Natasha’s eye briefly before going back to Steve.

“It’s, uh…” he paused, swallowing hard. “It’s Bruce.”

Natasha felt every muscle in her body tense. Steve immediately turned his gaze to meet hers, confusion and concern swirling in his eyes.

No one had heard from Bruce in _years_. After he’d flown off from Sokovia they’d lost track of him, assuming he’d found some remote island or village, much like where he’d been when she recruited him for Fury years ago.

And besides, with the exception of her and Sam, no one else had the number to this phone. Steve had programmed it specifically for Tony to contact him if needed. The only way Bruce would have the number is if Tony had given it to him.

Finally Steve moved, reaching out to take the phone and lifting it up to his ear.

“Hello?” There was a pause. “Whoa, whoa. Slow down. What are you…” Another pause, longer this time as he listened. Natasha could hear the feedback from the other line but couldn’t make out what Bruce was saying, just that he was saying a lot very quickly. Suddenly Steve stiffened, his lips parting and eyes widening.

“Oh my god,” he breathed, barely above a whisper, his voice shaking ever so slightly. “Are you sure?” Natasha shot a worried glance back at Sam, who just shrugged, his face pinched in concern. “I…I’m sorry, I don’t know where he is. They fell off the grid a couple weeks ago…Wanda…yeah, they’re tog-“ His voice drifted again and he was silent for a few more seconds. “Okay. Yeah, we’ll find them and meet you there.” Another pause. “Okay. Be safe, we’ll see you soon.”

Steve dropped the phone from his ear slowly, then snapped it shut. He glanced between the two of them, jaw tightening.

“Thor’s…dead.”

Natasha inhaled sharply, dread flooding through her. She reached out, her fingers curling around Steve’s wrist. He took a deep breath and continued. “The guys that…that killed him...Tony went after them. Bruce hasn’t heard from him.”

“Steve-“ Her voice cracked and she quickly stopped talking. Instead she tightened her grip around his wrist.

“They’re coming after the gem in Vision’s head. We need to find them.” He finally met Natasha’s eyes, worry and desperation swimming in his own. “ _Now.”_

Natasha swallowed thickly and turned towards Sam. “She texted me a few weeks ago. We need to trace it, start wherever she was when she sent it.” Sam nodded.

“Get ready to go,” Steve added. He’d switched gears, his voice strong, but Natasha could sense the hesitation lurking behind it. “We’ll head to the jet in ten.”

Sam left the room, and Steve’s face fell again.

“I’ve seen him take hits that would have killed any of us instantly,” he said quietly. He turned to her, gently pulling his arm out of her grasp so he could curl his fingers around hers instead. “I’ve seem him take a bullet to the chest, it barely even made a dent.”

Natasha lifted her free hand and rested it against his chest, as if it would be of any comfort. With herself as an exception, Thor was the only one on the team Steve had gotten along with right away. He’d worked with Clint and Tony plenty, and after Wanda and Sam joined the team he’d developed a close relationship with them as well. But Thor had been his first true friend outside of Natasha. They had a lot in common, particularly when it came to feeling out of place in a world the rest of them were already accustomed to.

She was also pretty sure Steve used to have a thing for him, but if she was being honest with herself, it was hard _not_ to have a thing for Thor.

“If they can get to Thor…” he trailed off, squeezing her arm. He didn’t have to finish. Wanda was strong, and her powers were beyond what she could control…which was hard to comprehend considering everything they already knew she could do. But if a single being was strong enough to get to Thor, there was a good chance they could get to Wanda too.

“We’ll find her.” She lifted her hand from his chest and let it rest on the side of his face instead, her thumb sliding across his cheek. “We will.”

Steve looked unsure, but still nodded. He took a deep breath, and Natasha recognized him compartmentalizing, shifting gears.

“Let’s go.”

**EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND**

The first thing Natasha did when they’d boarded was pull out her laptop and get to work tracking the message Wanda had sent her a few weeks ago.

“She was still in Edinburgh,” she announced, once the pin popped up on the map.

“Think they’re still there?” Steve asked, peeking over her shoulder at the screen. “I don’t think she’d go too far without telling us.”

“It’s possible.” She zoomed in on the map a bit. “She was near the university when she texted me. Her American accent is good, it would be easy for them to blend in as students or tourists in that area.”

“Let’s start there,” Steve decided. He turned away from the screen. “And suit up, we need to be ready in case these guys find them first.”

“And what, let them kill us as a distraction while Wanda and Vision escape?” Sam muttered. Natasha thought it might have been intended as a joke, but it fell flat. He was right. If these were the same people who had gone after Thor, there probably wasn’t much they could do.

The flight was quick, giving them just about enough time to all change into their suits and attach their gear before Sam was hovering over the city.

“Now what?” he asked. Steve approached behind him, brows furrowed in thought, when several beams of golden light streaked across the sky.

“Did you guys see that?” Natasha asked, hopping up from where she’d been sitting and leaning over Sam’s shoulder.

“Was that-“ Steve began, but he was cut off by distant boom. Sam turned the jet towards the source. Something was on fire in the street below, a streak of red flying from it. “Shit.”

Suddenly Natasha spotted them, a blast of blue hitting the dark figures she recognized as Wanda and Vision and sending them flying towards the train station almost directly below the quinjet. They crashed through the glass ceiling and disappeared.

“Sam, drop us here.” Steve said. Natasha turned, grabbing her pistols off of the center console of the jet and shoving them into their respective holsters. “Land the jet and meet us.”

Sam tapped a button on the control panel in front of him and the jet started lowering towards the street. Steve all but sprinted towards the back of it, slammed his fist on the controls that opened the ramp, then leapt off of it into the night air. Natasha followed, landing in a summersault and sprinting after him.

The station was closed but Steve rammed the door open with his shoulder. Natasha whipped her head around frantically, trying to spot them.

“We’ll split up,” Steve said. “I’ll head towards the back, you go around. Sam?”

“ _On my way,_ ” came his reply in their ears.

“You circle around up top when you get here. Let us know if you see them.”

“ _Got it. Almost there._ ”

Natasha turned to head in the direction he’d indicated, but he stopped her, his hand wrapping gently around his arm. She turned her head to meet his eyes, and he took a long breath.

“Don’t die.”

“You either,” she replied with a grin. He smiled back, though it didn’t quite meet his eyes. He was worried, she could tell. Then turned and took off towards the other end of the station.

“ _Friendly reminder, again, that we share a comms line,_ ” Sam quipped. Natasha ignored him.

The place was big, and very silent. Sam had dropped them towards the end they’d seen them fall through the ceiling, but there was no sign of them.

A loud _crash_ got her attention and she skidded to a halt, spun towards the source of the noise, and took off running again. Another crash followed immediately after. She pushed herself faster, twisting through the rows of shops and food places. She heard rumbling in the distance and the whistle of a train; sure enough when she rounded the corner, there was one speeding by. Wanda stood facing away from it, hands glowing red as she stared down two alien-looking creatures. None of them were moving, however, and suddenly Wanda turned, eyeing the train.

It passed, throwing the place into silence for a split second. She saw a shadow on the other end of the train track. The alien noticed it too and raised its spear - it was huge, and glowed on both ends - before launching it at Steve with a grunt. He caught it and the alien actually stepped backwards, stunned, as he stepped towards them.

“God, Rogers, you are so dramatic,” she muttered into her wrist.

“ _I guess I’ll take care of the aliens, then, since you two don’t want to?_ ” Sam replied, and he suddenly swung down from the air, his feet smashing into the alien, who was so distracted by Steve that it didn’t see him coming. It flew across the open area and smashed into the window of one of the shops, sending glass flying everywhere. Sam then shot a few rockets from his suit that the other alien batted away effortlessly with his own spear. Wanda, in the chaos, turned back and dropped to her knees next to Vision where he was lying on the ground.

Natasha took off running, catching Steve’s eye from across the platform. He nodded, then lifted the glowing spear and threw it in her direction. It spun through the air and she reached up, grabbing it just in time to drop to her knees and slide under the spear of the second alien. He noticed her and swung his weapon, but she was too fast. She twisted herself up and around, dodging another blow and stabbing him right in the stomach. He let out a cry of pain and stumbled forward. She shoved it in farther, the alien gasping and screaming as it pushed further into its abdomen.

It was ugly, a long grey face contorted against the pain, cracks and scars spreading deeply across its thick, wrinkled skin. It’s eyes, boring into hers as it screamed, were a bright amber, and its teeth were a dark shade of yellow. It’s clothing was dark teal, almost black, with gold accents. It almost reminded Natasha of the ridiculous outfit Clint used to wear back before he’d joined SHIELD, when he’d worked as a mercenary for a terrorist group in Japan. He didn’t like to talk about it. She added it to the long list of things she was planning on bringing up the second his house arrest ended next week and she couldfinally contact him.

The thing gasped for breath and she felt the familiar rush of adrenaline flood through her, the corners of her lips ticking upwards ever so slightly. She pushed a little farther, just out of spite. _That’s for the giant gash on Wanda’s face_ , she thought bitterly. It grabbed the shaft of the spear and she ducked into a summersault, spinning the alien around before it could swing at her with its own weapon, and flipping herself back onto her feet. It reached out with its spear, whipping it hard at her, but she used the leverage of the one still lodged it its stomach to leap over it and smack her boot into the side of its face. It stumbled backwards, its weapon clattering to the floor as it landed hard on its back.

Natasha lifted the glowing thing in her hand and aimed, towering over him in preparation of landing another strike to its stomach, when suddenly the weapon in her hand slid backwards and flew right out of her hand. The force of it spun her around halfway and she got a glimpse of the other alien, the owner of the spear, just as it caught it and leaped several feet in the air. It aimed at Natasha, and she reached back and ripped her batons out of their holster on her back. The alien yelled in frustration as it flew through the air towards her, the pointed end of the spear coming right at her.

Natasha raised her batons, realizing in the split second before the alien reached her that they weren’t going to be much help against a powerful alien weapon. But before the thing reached her she saw Steve sprinting towards them out of the corner of her eye. 

Steve jumped over a bench, twisting in the air and landing in a summersault. He grabbing the fallen weapon of the other alien and rolled backwards to land back on his feet in between Natasha and the thing coming right at her. Natasha ducked right as he caught the glowing spear right between the three spokes on the end. They got caught on the shaft of the one in his hands, the pointed ends only inches from his face. He grunted against the force, finally flinging both weapons upwards and away from him. The first alien was quick to counter, however, and swiped at him again. He twisted, smacking her in the back, and she spun, aiming at Natasha instead. Natasha who’d had just enough time with Steve’s distraction to activate her batons; she blocked the spear, dodging out of the way while the alien flipped and swung at her again.

The alien spun back and forth, first at Natasha, then at Steve, then at Natasha again. The two of them dodged and countered, then it finally got a good hit on Steve and he stumbled backwards. Sam used it to his advantage, taking the aliens second of triumph to fly into her again. She flew backwards several feet, rolling on the ground and then crawling the rest of the way to the other alien still lying where Natasha had left him. Sam landed on his feet and whipped out his guns, aiming them right at her. The three of them cornered the two aliens, and the first one glanced up at them, a flash of fear spreading across her features. She turned towards the other alien and placed a hand on his chest.

“Get up,” she hissed in English, dropping her other hand to lay almost tenderly on the other’s wrist.

“I can’t,” it rasped back.

“We don’t wanna kill you,” Natasha said, stepping up next to Sam. “But we will.”

The alien glared at her, her red eyes narrowing in irritation. This one wasn’t as horrifying to look at at least, a pale grey face that was half covered in the same royal blue as her hair. She had a deep scar across her lips that protruded up past her nose and horns on either side of her head. This one was dressed much more practically, in actual body armor that protected her much more efficiently than the loose robes of her companion.

“You’ll never get the chance again,” she seethed. She reached over to tap her gauntlet, and a beam of light suddenly shone down from the sky. The three of them backed up a step, Sam lowering his guns, as the aliens started lifting into the air. Natasha’s eyes followed the beam of bright blueish-white light upwards through one of the holes in the glass ceiling and could vaguely make out the lights of some sort of alien spacecraft hovering in the air above the train station. The golden spear that was still in Steve’s hand flung upwards, following them; the light disappeared and the spaceship flew off, disappearing into the clouds.

Natasha immediately spun around, finding Wanda still hovering over Vision back towards the train platform. Steve followed suit, crossing the space between them while she secured her batons back into their holster on her back. Sam jogged ahead, holding out a hand for Vision.

“Can you stand?” he asked. Vision gave him a single nod and grasped tightly to his hand, pulling himself up with the help of Wanda. Once upright, he flung his arms around Sam’s shoulder and Wanda’s waist to keep himself from falling back down. Steve came to a halt in front of him.

“Thank you, Captain,” Vision gasped. Natasha glanced up at Steve, who was eyeing him carefully. They hadn’t actually _seen_ Vision since the mess with Accords happened two years ago; Wanda waited almost a year to finally admit she’d been sneaking off to see him, even though they’d figured it out well before that. Natasha knew Steve wasn’t completely comfortable with him knowing their approximate location whenever he and Wanda met up, but that he also trusted him not to use Wanda just to turn them in. They’s still been cautious though, and always moved every time they’d dropped Wanda off somewhere.

Natasha also thought there was still a little bit of bitterness underneath all of his insisting that he’d moved past what happened with the Accords. The hit that had paralyzed Rhodey had been meant for Sam, after all. Sam also had to watch Tony almost loose his best friend, something almost identical to his own situation. Steve - having also gone through the same thing with James - confided in Natasha how much it flat out pissed him off that Sam had to live with the fact that a shot meant for him had almost killed Rhodes like it did Riley. The defensive part of Steve that always looked out for those he cared about didn’t always let things like that go easily.

Steve took a deep breath, looking Vision up and down before meeting his eyes again. He looked awful, a giant hole in his chest, and a golden glimmer passing over him. There was pain in his eyes; it was so very human that Natasha could have forgotten he was technically an AI.

“Let’s get you on the jet,” Steve said finally, nodding once and turning away from them.

“It’s right outside the station, parked on the road,” Sam directed him, hoisting Vision up to help Wanda support him through the station. He’d left the ramp open, so they boarded quickly and helped Vision into a seat on the side of the jet. Sam lifted them into the air quickly and put them back into stealth mode, heading in the opposite direction of the alien’s ship to get some distance between it and the city. Natasha watched Edinburgh shrink below them for a few seconds, feeling a little guilty about leaving so much destruction behind - especially a place that would be crawling with civilians in a few hours - but there was no time to send in any kind of anonymous tip this time. They usually tried to limit the amount of property damage they left for that exact reason.

But Wanda was safe. That was all that mattered. The underlying feeling of panic she’d felt before they even left the safe house still buzzed around in her brain. Wanda could absolutely handle herself, but she was still learning the extent of her powers. Those aliens were quick and didn’t care about who they had to kill to get what they wanted, which made them reckless in a deadly way. And Wanda wasn’t bulletproof; a spear to the heart (especially one made from alien technology they couldn’t understand) would kill her just as fast as it would kill any of the rest of them. They’d cornered her, and Vision hadn’t been in any position to help her fight them off. If they’d just been a few minutes too late…

“I thought we had a deal,” Natasha said as the ramp closed, her voice shaking just enough to be noticeable. She look a sharp breath to calm herself down. “Stay close, check in?” She turned to meet Wanda’s gaze. “Don’t take any chances?”

“I’m sorry,” she muttered, her Sokovian accent shining through the American one she’d been working on perfecting. She was sitting next to Vision, her fingers intertwined with his, the guilt flooding through her eyes making Natasha feel worse. “We just wanted time.”

Natasha rounded the center console of the jet, catching Steve’s eye where he was standing close to the cockpit. He shot her a look telling her to ease up.

She knew she couldn’t be upset with Wanda. Hadn’t she been doing the same thing for two years? She knew damn well it was safer for all four of them to stick together, but they let Wanda venture off on her own, they let Sam go home to visit his sister whenever he could, and they didn’t bring up how dangerous it was.

She knew it was selfish, but she took advantage of any time she got with Steve because she could never shake the feeling that it would last forever. They led dangerous lives; who knew if one day a mission could go wrong and they got caught, or one of them got killed? They’d come close to that just a week ago. _Too_ close.

She and Steve had gotten two years together without responsibilities where they were allowed to do nothing but betogether if that’s all they wanted to do. Wanda and Vision deserved that same opportunity.

Natasha sighed, brushing past Steve and taking the seat behind Sam’s.

“Where to, Cap?”

She turned around again to glance back up at Steve. He was staring blankly ahead of him, the answer he was struggling with written plainly on his face. Finally he turned, eyes falling on Wanda and Vision in the corner.

“Home,” he answered.

“You sure?” Sam replied. Sam would do anything for Steve, but walking right into the Avengers compound with the government still searching for them was a huge risk.

But where else would they go? Thor was gone. Tony was missing. And whoever or _whatever_ had started this wasn’t going to give up now. Steve glanced over at Natasha, and she guessed he was debating the same thing. He frowned a bit, the crease between his eyebrows deepening, and Natasha nodded.

“I’m sure,” he said, more confident this time, eyes still locked on Natasha’s. “This is only the beginning, and they’ve already threatened too many lives. They’re just going to keep coming back. If we’re going to stop them, we need to work together.” She gave him a small, encouraging smile. “It’s worth the risk.”

Sam nodded and began tapping in the flight patten towards New York.

“Bruce knows we’re coming,” Natasha added. “I’m sure Rhodey will too.” Sam tensed, just a little, just enough for Natasha to notice. She leaned forward in her seat and rested her hand lightly on his shoulder. She didn’t say anything - she didn’t need to, it wouldn’t change the guilt she knew he still felt - but she felt him relax a bit.

Sam piloted for most of the flight. When they were about halfway over the Atlantic Steve all but forced him out of the cockpit to get some sleep, and Natasha took over. She recommended he take his own advice and, although it took more persuasion than it should have, he finally agreed and retired to the alcove where their makeshift bed was.

She hadn’t noticed that Wanda - who had passed out not long after they’d taken off with her head on Vision’s shoulder - had woken until she approached her silently from behind and took the co-pilot’s seat.

“Are you upset with me?” she asked in a small voice.

“Of course not,” Natasha replied. She glanced over at her, but the subtle red haze in her eyes sent guilt flooding through her.

“Don’t lie to me. I would understand if you were.”

Natasha let out a long breath, switching on auto-pilot and swiveling the seataround to face her. Wanda looked up under long eyelashes, hands fidgeting in her lap.

“I’m not upset,” Natasha promised. “We just worry about you.”

“I could have handled it,” Wanda replied, a tinge of defensiveness to her tone. “They were strong, but I’m stronger.”

“I know you are, but you were distracted. You were concerned about Vision and that would have affected your ability to concentrate.” Wanda averted her gaze down to the floor, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth. “That’s not a bad thing,” Natasha insisted.

“It is when it puts the people I care about in danger.”

“That doesn’t make you any less powerful. It means you give a shit.” The corner of Wanda’s mouth ticked upward and she met Natasha’s eyes again. “It’s natural to worry. You worried about him, we worry about you. Hell, Steve’s worse than all of us. It’s _exhausting_.”

“I’m still awake, you know. I can hear you,” came Steve’s voice from behind them. Wanda breathed out a laugh. The corner of Natasha’s lips curved upwards, but she ignored him.

“He’s not going to stop worrying about us, we’re not going to stop worrying about you. You’re not going to stop worrying about Vision. And that’s okay.”

“Thank you,” Wanda said softly. “For being there. They almost…” she trailed off, eyes shutting tightly. “If you hadn’t gotten them away from him, they would have-“

“I know.” Natasha placed a comforting hand on Wanda’s knee. “That’s why we’re re-grouping. We’ll come up with a plan, keep him safe.” She squeezed her hand a little. “It’s still going to be a few hours. You should try to get some more sleep.”

Wanda nodded and stood to go back to Vision. Natasha turned her chair back around and slumped back into it. She let out a sleepy sigh and stared blankly out of the window at the endless sea of black.

She hadn’t realized she’d let her eyes fall shut and she’d drifted until there was a steady hand on her shoulder. She jumped, eyes flying open, to see Steve standing above her.

“Want me to take over?”

“No. I’m fine,” she lied, straightening in her seat and staring out the window again.

“Is that why you just fell asleep at the wheel?” Natasha pointedly ignored him, so he reached up and brushed his hand through her hair. She closed her eyes again, leaning into it, and he bent down to place a soft kiss to the top of her head. “Go get some sleep, love. I’ll be okay.”

She sighed, but knew he was right. He could stay awake longer than any of them, and if these aliens tonight were any indication, it was going to be a long few days.

“Fine,” she grumbled, and stood.

She twisted herself to step around him, but he slid an arm around her waist and pulled her against him. His other arm followed, enclosing her in a tight hug. It didn’t last long, and when he loosened his grip, he tilted his head to kiss her lightly on the cheek.

“I love you,” he muttered into her ear, his breath tickling her skin. She rolled her eyes but her mouth twitched upwards into a smile.

“ _Ya znayu. Ya tozhe tebya lyublyu,”_ she mumbled back, turning her head to place a soft kiss on his lips instead, her hand coming to rest on the side of is face. “And it’s okay that you worry so much.”

“I thought it was _exhausting_ ,” he shot back, emphasizing the word sarcastically. He pulled away and fell back into the pilot’s chair.

“ _Everything_ you do is exhausting, babe.” He rolled his eyes, and she reached over to pat him playfully on the shoulder before leaving him and heading towards the back of the jet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RUSSIAN TRANSLATIONS:  
>  _Ya znayu. Ya tozhe tebya lyublyu._ \- I know. I love you too.
> 
> ok i have to clarify something
> 
> i've been writing this fic since 2016, and steve and nat's whole "i love you" "i know" thing is my own headcanon and something i've used in multiple fics ever since i started writing them. my reasoning behind it is too deep to get into right now, but it's a recurring thing in not only this fic, but in all of my fics.
> 
> now, that being said......for some inexcusable reason i did not see a single star wars movie until i was 27, therefore i just wanted to point out that it has never had anything to do with han and leia, and i actually didn't even know it was like, a _thing_ until i watched the movies earlier this year 😂


	3. Chapter 3

**UPSTATE NEW YORK**

“I’m starting to regret this.”

Natasha glanced up from her laptop and met Steve’s worried gaze. She raised an amused eyebrow at him.

“Too late for that, soldier.”

Steve’s jaw tightened and he lifted his gaze to stare past her out of the window. They were starting to descend, and the compound was coming into view.

“It could be a trap.” He met her gaze again. “If we all get arrested…”

“It’ll be your fault? Yeah, we know.” She grinned at the distressed look he gave her in return.

“As long as they put you two in different cells,” Sam muttered from the cockpit. Natasha shot Steve a suggestive smirk, and he suddenly looked terrified for what she was going to say.

“I think you underestimate our ability to-“

“Do _not_ finish that sentence,” Sam warned. Natasha snorted. Steve rolled his eyes, but she could still see the blush creeping up his neck.

“Rhodey wouldn’t sell us out like that,” Natasha reminded him. She closed her laptop and stood, setting it down on the seat behind her.

“I know,” Steve replied with a sigh. Natasha crossed the space between them and rested her hand on the side of his face. She nudged his head upwards to make him look her in the eye.

“We’ll be fine,” she assured him, lowering her voice. She rubbed her thumb across his cheek, and he finally gave her a soft smile.

“About to land,” Sam called. Steve turned his head just enough to lightly kiss her palm before exiting their little alcove. She followed him and they peered out the front window over Sam’s shoulder. “Damn, Stark has been busy…”

The two main buildings of the facility were still much the same as they were the last time they’d been there, but Tony had expanded. In addition to what looked to be a few extra storage facilities, the main building of the compound had been expanded. It almost looked like a campus now, with new buildings all the way down to the river.

“Does anyone even live here anymore?” Steve asked, brow creasing.

“After selling the Avengers Tower, Mr. Stark moved all of his resources to the facility,” Vision supplied from behind them.

“He _sold_ it?” Natasha said incredulously, glancing around at Vision. He shrugged.

“The facility offers everything Mr. Stark needs to maintain both his company and the Avengers organization. There was no need to own both properties.”

Steve just hummed in response, but Natasha could tell it bothered him. That tower was Tony and Pepper’s pride and joy. There was no way they came to that decision easily.

Sam landed on the helipad outside of the living quarters, and Steve took it as a good sign that no one was there to welcome them. He led the way out of the jet and into the back door of the facility with a level of confidence Natasha knew he didn’t actually possess.

The five of them were silent as they made their way towards the lab and infirmary. Tension filled the air, and Natasha wasn’t sure if it was Wanda inadvertently projecting on the rest of them, or all of them sharing the same anxiousness.

When they got closer, voices floated through the hall. They got louder when the sliding glass door to Tony’s lab slid open with a soft chime and a hiss of air. Rhodes was standing in the middle of the room, facing a holographic projection of - _of course -_ Secretary Ross. Rhodey glanced over at them, then back at Ross. Steve could swear he saw a smirk.

Ross, however, hadn’t noticed Rhodey’s amusement. He turned, gaping at them as they approached.

“Mr. Secretary,” Steve greeted, his voice even but not without an irritated edge. Ross’ projection took a few steps towards them, glaring at Steve until he came to a halt a few feet away from them.

“You’ve got some nerve,” he seethed. “I’ll give you that.”

“You could use some of that right now,” Natasha replied easily. Ross glared at her.

“The world’s on fire,” he continued, turning his attention back to Steve and ignoring her comment, “and you think all is forgiven?”

Steve tensed, but just turned to look the Secretary straight in the eye. Natasha could feel the anger and exhaustion radiating off of him.

“I’m not looking for forgiveness. And I’m _way_ past asking for permission.” Natasha didn’t try to hide the involuntary proud smirk on her face. “Earth just lost her best defender, so we’re here to fight.” He turned now, descending a single step and towering over Ross, who all but shrank away from him despite not actually being in the room. “And if you want to stand in our way, we’ll fight you too.”

Natasha caught movement out of her peripheral vision and glanced farther into the room. There was a conference table and more men milling around it - military and government officials, it seemed - all staring at them. The terrified and confused looks they were giving them gave her enough satisfaction to make showing up unannounced completely worth it. Ross turned back to Rhodes.

“Arrest them,” he demanded.

“All over it,” Rhodes replied flatly, then raised his hand to swipe away the projection, ending the call. Ross and the rest of the men disappeared, so he turned his attention to Steve, raising an eyebrow at him. “That’s a court-martial.” Steve hesitated until Rhodes stepped forward, extending his hand. “Great to see you, Cap.”

Steve finally relaxed, letting out a relieved breath and offering Rhodes a smile. He descended the rest of the way down into the lab, accepting his outstretched hand with a smile.

“You too, Rhodey.”

Natasha followed him and Rhodes pulled her into a hug.

“Well,” he said finally, when he pulled away, glancing back at Sam, Wanda, and Vision. “You guys… _really_ look like crap.”

Steve averted his gaze, briefly catching Natasha’s eye and offering her a smile before looking past her to Sam. She watched him, a small grin spreading across her face. He looked so _relieved_ , something she hadn’t seen in him in years. “Must have been a rough couple of years.”

“Yeah, well…the hotels weren’t exactly five star,” Sam quipped with a smile.

“I-I think you look great.”

Natasha stiffened, her breath catching in her throat. She spun around to see Bruce, hesitantly entering from the common area on the other side of the lab. Steve tensed next to her. Bruce took a careful glance around at them, then his eyes fell on her.

“Uhm…yeah, I’m…back.”

“Hi Bruce,” she replied softly.

He was staring right at her now, wringing his hands nervously. Bruce had always been a nervous person, even after they’d gotten to know each other better and he’d become more comfortable around her. Now, however, Natasha could practically feel the discomfort radiating off of him from all the way across the room. He was silent for a few long, excruciating seconds before taking a deep breath and nodding.

“Nat.” He glanced nervously at Steve, then back to her.

“This is awkward,” Sam muttered behind them. Natasha wanted to punch him.

“It’s good to see you, Bruce,” Steve said finally, his voice tight. Natasha wanted to punch him too. Bruce tore his eyes away from hers and met Steve’s gaze again.

“Yeah, uh…you too, Cap.” He swallowed hard and finally took a few more steps towards them.

“Ah, the Captain and Agent Romanoff are in a relationship,” Vision said suddenly. Natasha glanced back at him with wide eyes, an almost human-like look of realization forming in his mechanical features. “Now I understand why this is awkward.”

“ _Vis!_ ” Wanda hissed. Steve let out a long sigh.

“Thanks, Vision,” he muttered under his breath.

Natasha glanced around at all of them: Steve gritting his teeth together, his jaw tight despite the tips of his ears turning pink; Sam grinning and Vision looking confused again at Wanda’s horrified expression; Rhodes watching the exchange, amused. And finally, to Bruce, who looked like he would rather be absolutely _anywhere_ else.

And then she _laughed_.

“I’m sorry,” she gasped, mortified by the lack of control over her ridiculous giggling; they were still fugitives, Thor was most likely dead, and Bruce was back after three incredibly long years. They were on the brink of a war - with fucking aliens, _again_ \- and she was so overcome with worry and relief and exhaustion that she just couldn’t stop.

Steve grinned, catching Natasha’s eye and chuckling lowly. Sam let out out a laugh, and even Wanda smiled.

“Did…did I miss something?” Bruce paused, frowning. “Besides…uh, everything, apparently…”

“Romanoff’s losing her goddamn mind,” Sam muttered lowly behind her. Natasha just rolled her eyes.

“We’re glad you’re okay, Doctor Banner,” Steve said, a bit of tension returning to his voice but still offering him a polite smile. “We were all worried.”

“Yeah, thanks, it’s, um…it’s been a weird couple of years.”

The lighthearted moment was gone as quickly as it had came as the reality of the situation set in. Thor was gone and they needed to figure out their next moves. Steve took charge again, ushering them all into the common area outside of the lab.

“Start at the beginning,” he said finally. Bruce glanced around at all of them and took a seat on one of the sofas.

“We were heading to Earth. Me and Thor, and the Asgardians…” He hesitated. “And Loki…”

“I thought Loki was dead?” Steve asked, crease forming between his brows.

“Well…” Bruce winced. “ _Now_ he is.” He paused again. “I think.”

“You think?”

“I don’t know what happened. Thanos showed up, him and the other…aliens, I don’t know. I was the other guy the whole time, so it’s foggy…” Bruce trailed off, resting his elbows on his knees and burying his face in his hands. “I’m sorry. I’m not much help.”

“What _do_ you remember?” Rhodes asked. Bruce let out a sigh.

“Not much. I - well, Hulk - tried to stop him, Thanos, but…he was too strong. He knocked me down, and then suddenly I was flying away, through a…a portal, the bifrost I think. I turned back into myself when I crashed on Earth.”

“Tony found you?” Rhodes asked. Natasha felt Steve tense next to her at the mention of his name.

“No. Stephen Strange, he’s a…wizard? I think? He found Tony.” Bruce frowned as he tried to recall what had happend. “He has another one of the stones.”

“There’s more of them on earth?” Steve asked with a sigh. The last time they’d heard from Thor, he’d still been determined to find them all despite not having any luck. He’d only briefly stopped by the compound to update them a few months before the mess with Accords had happened, and as far as Natasha knew, no one had heard from him since.

“Yeah, there’s six of them in total. They’re called Infinity Stones.” Bruce explained. “That’s what Thanos is after. He already had one of them, and took another out of the Tesseract-“

“The _Tesseract_?” Natasha cut in, sharing a confused glance with Steve. “Wasn’t it locked away on Asgard?”

“Asgard’s gone. It’s, um…a long story.” Bruce sighed and averted his gaze down to the floor. “Loki must have grabbed it before we left. Two of the aliens - the ones with Thanos - they showed up in New York after I did, for the stone Strange had.”

“They came after Vision too,” Wanda supplied in a small voice.

“Thanos…he’s the one who sent Loki. The Battle of New York…that was him. He invades planets. Wipes out half of their population and then moves on to the next. And if he gets all of these stones-“

“He can wipe out a lot more than a planet,” Steve finished bitterly.

“Exactly.”

“And Tony?” Natasha glanced between Bruce and Rhodes, who stared down at the floor and shook his head.

“Haven’t heard from him,” he replied softly. “Pepper and I have been trying to get into contact with him all day. Friday can’t even lock onto his signal.”

“He went after their ship after they attacked New York,” Bruce added. He stood and began pacing. “Strange is gone too, so is that…kid-”

“Spider-Man?” Natasha cut in, concern suddenly bubbling up in the pit of her stomach. Peter was just a _kid_ , he didn’t need to be involved with this.

“Yeah, I guess. I don’t know when he showed up, but he and Tony seemed to know each other,” Bruce explained.

“Shit,” Steve muttered under his breath with a sigh.

“That’s when I found the phone he dropped and called you.”

“Security footage of the train station caught the other guys on camera.” Rhodes grabbed a tablet off of the coffee table and tapped it a few times before bringing up a holographic projection of the two aliens they’d fought off the night before. Natasha crossed the room to get a better look at it. “So we’ve gotta assume they’re coming _back_ …right?”

“And they can clearly find us,” Wanda added softly.

“We need all hands on deck-“ Bruce paused and turned to Natasha. “Where’s Clint?”

“After the whole Accords situation he and Scott took a deal,” she replied. She wondered if anyone had filled Bruce in on what he’d missed, if he’d even know what she was talking about. “It was too tough on their families. They’re on house arrest.”

“Who’s Scott?”

“Ant-Man,” Steve supplied. Bruce turned to stare blankly at him.

“There’s an Ant-Man _and_ a Spider-Man?” Steve nodded and Bruce shook his head. “Okay, look, Thanos has the biggest army in the _universe_. And he is _not_ gonna stop until he…he gets…“ He hesitated, glancing between Wanda and Vision. “…Vision’s stone.”

“Well then we have to protect it,” Natasha said, taking a few steps forward, glancing over at Steve again.

“No, we have to destroy it.” They all turned their attention to Vision, who had been hanging back, listening. “I’ve been giving a great deal of thought to this entity in my head.” He gestured towards the stone. “About its nature, but also it’s composition.” He turned to Wanda and took a few careful steps towards her. “I think if it were exposed to a sufficiently powerful energy source…something very similar to it’s own signature, perhaps…it’s molecular integrity could fail.”

Wanda just stared at him, a horrified look on her face.

“And _you_ with it,” she replied lowly. She shook her head. “We’re not having this conversation.”

“Eliminating the stone is the only way to be certain that Thanos can’t get it.”

“That’s too high a price.”

Vision lifted his hands, brushing her hair back and settling them on either side of her face.

“Only _you_ have the power to pay it.” Wanda spun around, pulling away from him. The air around them suddenly tensed, and Natasha shifted uncomfortably.She glanced up at Steve, who had dropped his gaze to the floor. She could tell he felt it too. “Thanos threatens half the universe. One life cannot stand in the way of defeating him.“

“But it should.” Steve let out a long breath, his eyes flickering over to meet Natasha’s briefly before landing on Vision. “We don’t trade lives, Vision.“

“Captain, seventy years ago you laid down your life to save how many millions of people; tell me, why is this any different?”

Steve approached him, mouth open to reply, but then he suddenly closed it, as if he didn’t have an answer.

“Because, _you_ might have a choice,” Bruce answered for him. Steve glanced over at Bruce. “Your mind is made up of a _complex_ construct of overlays. Jarvis, Ultron, Tony, me, the stone…all of them mixed together, all of them learning from one another.”

“You’re saying Vision isn’t just the stone?” Wanda asked, her voice shaking. Bruce turned to her.

“I’m saying, that…if we took out the stone, there’s still a whole lot of Vision left. Per-perhaps the best parts.”

“Can we do that?” Natasha asked, glancing between Bruce and Vision.

“Not me, not here,” Bruce replied with a defeated sigh.

“Well you better find someone and somewhere, fast,” Rhodes said. “Ross isn’t gonna just let you guys have your old rooms back.”

“I know somewhere,” Steve said suddenly. He lifted his gaze to meet Wanda’s, then turned to Natasha. The second she met his eyes, she knew exactly what he was thinking.

“Shuri,” she breathed, answering Bruce’s unasked question.

“Where’s that?”

“Not where. Who,” Steve replied. He straightened, the gears turning in his head. “If she could separate Bucky from the programming in his head-“

“-then she might be able to separate Vision from the stone,” Natasha finished for him.

“And if we can get that stone out before they come back for it-“

“-Wanda can destroy it.”

“Exactly.” The corner of his mouth ticked upwards. “That will definitely piss them off.”

Natasha smirked at him. “Sounds fun.”  
“They always like this?” Rhodes asked.

“Yes,” replied Sam and Wanda, in perfect unison. Bruce lowered his gaze to the floor uncomfortably.

“Alright. Rogers, you call T’Challa, let him know we’re coming,” Natasha said, then glanced between the rest of the group. “Everyone else, be ready to go in fifteen minutes.”

Steve nodded, and they went their separate ways. Wanda mentioned something about grabbing some of her things from her room, and she and Vision left. Sam said he’d meet them on the jet and headed back towards the elevator. Rhodes exited the room back into the lab, and Bruce, once he realized he’d be alone with Natasha and Steve, quickly followed him.

Natasha crossed the room while Steve dialed, pulling herself up to sit on top of the island countertop when he’d wandered into the kitchen. Their conversation was short, but it seemed they were welcome in Wakanda and Shuri was excited to help. When he hung up he slid his phone back into a pocket on his suit and turned to her, immediately wrapping his arms around her and burying his face against her shoulder. Natasha slid her arms around his waist, gently rubbing her hand up and down his back.

“You okay?” she asked softly. He let out a long sigh.

“Yeah,” he breathed against her shoulder. He lifted his head to smile tiredly down at her. “I’m always okay.”

She lifted her hand to rest gently on the side of his face. He met her gaze with an exhausted stare that he only let her see, and her heart ached at the guilt reflected in his eyes. She could see the years of running on his face, the bags underneath his eyes and the lines in his skin. She tilted her head a bit furrowed her brows, letting the pad of her thumb brush across his cheek.

“I’m _fine_ ,” he insisted.

“You’re tired.”

He shrugged half-heartedly, the corner of his lips ticking up into a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

“Kinda what I signed up for.” He dropped his gaze away from hers. “My fault.”

Natasha sighed, dropping her hand to his shoulder to pull him back towards her. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, letting out a long, exhausted breath as he did so. She went back to rubbing one hand up and down his back, then ran the other one through his hair, holding him against her. He wrapped his arms around her waist, and she finally felt him start to relax a little.

“We’ve talked about this,” she said softly, leaning her head sideways to rest against his. “No more blaming ourselves for the past, remember?”

“I know,” he replied with a huff. He lifted his head again so he could press his lips softly against hers. He let them linger before he pulled away, dropping his hands to rest on the countertop on either side of her. Then he gave her a soft smile that made her heart flip in her chest. “When this is all over, we’re going on vacation.”

“I’m sure Sam will be thrilled,” she replied with a smirk.

“Sam’s not invited,” he muttered; she huffed out a laugh that he cut off with another kiss.

“He’ll be heartbroken,” she murmured against his lips.

“He’ll get over it.” He kissed her again, softer this time, then rested his forehead against hers. “You’re blocking Fury’s number. I don’t want to even hear the word Hydra for at least a month. _Minimum_.”

Natasha hummed in agreement.

“Or we could just retire. You’re _well_ past retirement age.” Steve leaned back and shot her a look.

“So are _you_.”

“Exactly.” She pulled her hands back to slide them up and rest them on his chest. “Ever been to Greece?”

“Nope.”

“You’d love it. It’s beautiful. We can find one of those little houses on the beach.”

“I’ll finally find out how terrible you look in a bikini.”

Natasha smirked at him. “I’d assumed you’d prefer me without one.”

Steve gaped at her, swallowing hard. “I mean-“

“Hey, Cap? Oh, uh-“ Steve’s eyes went wide and he stumbled backwards, almost smacking right into the counter behind him in his attempt to put as much distance between them as possible. Natasha snorted out a laugh before she glanced over to see Bruce standing in the doorway, staring uncomfortably in a different direction. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to-“

“It’s fine,” Steve interrupted. “Everyone ready to go?”

“Yeah, yeah, uhm…Rhodes just…needs you for a second.”

“Yeah, uh...okay.” Steve swallowed thickly, glancing back at Natasha briefly before practically sprinting out of the room. Natasha rolled her eyes.

“Ignore him. He’s insecure.” Bruce chuckled nervously, wringing his hands and staring down at the floor. Natasha let out a long breath and slid off of the counter. “Follow me.”

Bruce met her gaze uncertainly, but when she nodded towards the giant sliding glass door on the opposite side of the room, he followed her. Natasha took a seat on one of the wooden benches in the courtyard, watching as Bruce debated with himself before sitting on the bench perpendicular to hers, seemingly putting as much space between them as possible.

“This doesn’t have to be weird, you know.”

Bruce swallowed thickly, staring at the ground for a few long, deafeningly silent seconds before finally meeting her gaze.

“It...I mean, it kinda...is?”

Natasha huffed out a laugh. “Yeah. It kinda is.” She shrugged. “It was a long time ago.”

“Not for me.” He averted his gaze again. “When Thor found Hulk in Sakaar...it was the first time I’d changed back into...me. Since…” He paused, glancing up at ber for only a second before his eyes went back down to the pavement. He seemed troubled, and Natasha realized there was a _lot_ more to that story than he was revealing. “Since Sokovia.”

Natasha let out a long breath. “Wow.”

“Yeah,” Bruce huffed and shook his head. “Look, Natasha…I-I’m sorry.” He finally met her gaze again, the guilt evident in his eyes. “I shouldn’t have left like that.”

Natasha shrugged again. “It _was_ my idea.”

“I know, I just…” He trailed off uncomfortably. “You guys, you and Steve…you seem…happy.”

Natasha’s lips curved up into a soft, involuntary smile.

“Yeah,” she breathed.

“Good. I’m glad, you know. That you two…” Bruce paused and swallowed thickly, averting his gaze. “That you worked everything out.”

“We got there. Eventually.” Bruce chuckled, though it didn’t meet his eyes. “I’m sorry too.”

“We’ll call it even,” Bruce replied quickly. He met her gaze and offered her an hesitant smile. “Since we both suck at this.”

Natasha huffed out a laugh. “Deal.” She stood, offering him her hand. He took it and stood as well. “I’m really glad you’re okay. We were worried.”

“It was…like I said. A weird couple years,” he said again, but something in his voice was different than when he’d said it to the group. More troubled and uncertain. Natasha frowned and was about to ask him about it, but he noticed and quickly cut her off. “It’s not important right now.”

“Okay,” Natasha replied. Bruce made a move to go back inside, but she reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him. He tensed and she dropped her hand, but he still turned back towards her. “I meant what I said. This doesn’t have to be weird.” He averted his gaze down the ground. “And for what it’s worth…regardless of how shitty we were to each other, you were a good friend when I needed it.”

“Yeah?” he said, meeting her gaze again.

She offered him an encouraging smile. As dark as things had been a few years ago, that was still true. Bruce _had_ been a good friend, someone she didn’t have to feel guilty around. He didn’t know much more about her past than most of the team did, but he never seemed to care. Regardless of the fact that their...well, whatever they’d had was a result of her trying to push Steve away, he’d still made her feel a little less alone.

“Yeah,” she said finally. Bruce half-smiled, but it seemed genuine.

“Uh, thanks. You…you were too. _Are_ too.”

“Hey, Nat?” She glanced towards the door to see Steve, who glanced between the two of them, seeming almost anxious. “You guys, uh…ready to go?”

“Yeah.” She shot Bruce one last smile before heading back inside, Bruce following close behind.

Despite the circumstances, it felt nice to have the jet so full again. It had just been Steve, Natasha, and Sam for so long - and occasionally Wanda - that Steve had almost forgotten what it felt like to have a whole _team_ , for there to be chatter and occasional laughter pre-mission while they traveled to their destination. As freeing as it had been not having to worry about leading or following rules…he had missed this.

He’d been sitting in the co-pilot’s seat next to Sam for most of the flight to Wakanda, chatting every once in a while but mostly just watching the endless sea of blue in front of them as the crossed the ocean. He was distracted, his eyes somehow continuing to wander towards the back of the jet, where Natasha had been sitting on the floor next to Bruce. They’d been there since they’d left New York, and their conversation seemed to be serious.

“You’re not actually _jealous_ , are you?” Sam asked, pulling him out of his head. Steve blinked over at him.

“What?”

“Of Banner.” Sam shot him an amused look. “You and Natasha have been together since, like, before you were even _together_. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

“I know, I’m not…that’s not…” Steve shook his head, averting his gaze. “I’m not jealous.”

“Coulda fooled me,” Sam quipped, his eyes going back out of the window in front of him.

Steve sighed. He wasn’t _jealous_. Well, not really. Part of him couldn’t shake the memories of three years ago, how he’d felt when Natasha was avoiding him,. At the time, her relationship with Bruce seemed to just be her trying to prove a point. Of course, she’d later explained to him that while that had been partially true, there’d been a lot more to it than that, some of which she couldn’t really even explain.

This, however, felt more like the need to protect her, not that he’d _ever_ admit that to her. She may have forgiven Bruce for the way he’d treated her, but Steve wasn’t sure that he could. Natasha had insisted that they’d both treated each _other_ like shit, and Steve knew he was being bitter, but _he’d_ been the one to see her finally collapse under all of the weight she’d been trying to hold up. He’d been the one to stick around and help pick her back up again. Bruce didn’t get to see that side of her, the side that had been slowly spiraling beyond her control, only to be fueled by Bruce’s projected feelings of insecurity.

Okay, yeah. He was definitely still bitter.

“It’s complicated,” he decided on finally. Sam only knew Steve’s side of things, and he didn’t want to betray Natasha’s trust by telling him what really happened. Sam just chuckled.

“Well, for what it’s worth, I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

Steve huffed out a laugh. God, he really was being ridiculous.

“I know.”

“So…you think saving the universe will be enough to clear our names?”

Steve was grateful for the change in subject, but despite his light tone, he still felt a wave of guilt pass through him. Sam always insisted he’d make the same choice again, even if it meant being a fugitive. But he had a _family_. People who worried about him. Parents and a sister and a nephew whose birth he’d missed, who he’d only been able to see occasionally when he was able to make it safely back home. He’d had a good job before joining the Avengers, friends, a life. And now that was all gone.

“I dunno. I hope so,” Steve replied, forcing a smile.

“It’d be so nice to just…shower every day again, you know?” Steve huffed out a laugh. “Or like, go to a baseball game. See a movie. Stuff like that.”

“Yeah,” Steve agreed softly.

“What about you?” Sam asked, glancing over at him again. “Think you’ll go back to the Avengers?”

Steve’s smile faded. He’d thought about it a lot in the beginning, what he’d do once this all blew over. _If_ it blew over. But the more time went on…the less sure he was that he even _wanted_ to go back to that life.

“I don’t know,” he said truthfully. He found his gaze wandering back to Natasha, where she was still sitting on the floor next to Bruce. “I think…I think I wanna be done.”

He saw the surprised look Sam gave him out of the corner of his eyes, but couldn’t bring himself to meet his gaze. It had taken him two years to come to that conclusion, and he’d never voiced it before. Not even to Natasha.

“Have you told her?”

“No,” he admitted softly.

“Think she’ll be okay with it?”

Steve finally glanced over at him.

“Yeah.” He winced. “I mean, I hope…I think she will. Yeah.”

“I’m glad you feel so confident about it,” Sam joked, and Steve chuckled.

“I don’t know. I just…” He paused, frowning. “I was supposed to die seventy-three years ago. And ever since I came out of the ice I’ve just been surviving, you know? Not taking advantage of this second chance at a life. And then the Accords happened, and I just…” He sighed and shook his head, dropping his gaze down the floor. “I just think it’s time.”

“Now you have a reason to live your life,” Sam added.

Steve glanced up at Sam briefly, his lips ticking upwards into a smile before his eyes wandered back to Natasha again. Something about the way the sun was filtering in through the windows made her practically _glow_ , her hair almost silver with the beam of sunlight hitting it. This time she noticed and met his gaze, her eyes sparkling as she shot him a curious look, her brows furrowing slightly, that little crease forming between them that Steve had always found so endearing. He responded with a sheepish smile, to which her lips curved up into his favorite crooked grin that she seemed to reserve just for him.

Steve’s heart flipped in his chest, and he swore he saw her smirk at him before returning to her conversation.

He wasn’t even sure what a future would look like for them. What a _normal_ _life_ could be. Plus, it was unlikely that she’s ever want to quit. This was all she’d ever known; it was their whole life. He’d never expected to want to slow down himself either, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t tired. Ever since Bucky was drafted and he started trying to enlist, he’d never really gotten a chance to _breathe._

He’d never wanted to. Not until recently, at least. But Sam was right: he’d never had a reason to live a life outside of being Captain America. But now?

Now he had Natasha. And if he was ever going to make that decision, to settle down into some version of a normal life…he'd want it to be with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tag yourself i'm natasha losing her fucking mind


	4. Chapter 4

**WAKANDA**

T’Challa was waiting for them on the helipad of the palace, along with Okoye and a handful of Dora Milaje.

“Seems like I’m always thanking you for something,” Steve greeted, extending a hand. T’Challa shook it, offering him a nod and a smile in greeting.

“What are you _doing?_ ” he heard Rhodey say softly behind him, and he turned to see Bruce’s mortified face, mid-bow.

“We…we don’t do that here,” T’Challa told him, to which Rhodey snorted. Then he glanced back over to Steve before motioning for him to follow and leading the way back towards the palace. “So how big of an assault should we expect?”

“Uh, sir?” Bruce said, jogging to catch up. “Sir, I think you should expect _quite_ a big assault.”

“How’re we looking?” Natasha asked, glancing up at T’Challa.

“You have my king’s guard, the border tribe, the Dora Milaje, and…”

He paused and gestured in front of them. Steve followed his gaze and grinned.

“And a semi-stable hundred year old man,” Bucky quipped as he approached. Steve brushed past T’Challa and Natasha to pull him into a hug. It had been a couple months since they’d been able to visit Wakanda; he’d spoken to Bucky a few times, but they tried to keep outside communication at a minimum, just in case.

“How’ve you been, Buck?” he asked, letting his hand rest on his shoulder.

“Eh, not bad for the end of the world,” he replied with an easy smile, which Steve returned. He’d been so unsure of Bucky’s decision to go back on ice after the Accords, but from the moment he’d woken up last year, it was almost as if Shuri had turned the clock back about seven decades. He still had a lot of work to do, and Steve knew he still had a lot of bad days; but seeing him smile so often, seeing him be able to remember things, sometimes made it seem like nothing had changed.

Natasha came up behind Steve, and Bucky’s gaze flickered over to her.

“Hi James,” she said with a soft smile, then stepped forward for a hug as well. She’d been hesitant to come with him when Bucky woke up - she never admitted it, but Steve could tell she felt as if she was intruding - but they’d become comfortable with each other almost effortlessly, despite their rocky past. “I like the new arm,” she added as she pulled away, patting his shoulder lightly.

“Thanks,” he replied, subconsciously rolling his shoulder and flexing the metal a bit. Steve had been there when he’d tried it on the first time, but had decided not to use it. Not until he needed to, at least. It seemed to still work well after that initial fitting, the dark vibranium gleaming in the bright sunlight.

“My sister has been made aware of your arrival,” T’Challa said behind them. “She is ready for you.”

“Right.” Steve glanced back at Sam and Rhodes. “You guys stay here, be ready just in case. We’ll take Vision up to the lab and try to get the stone out.”

“Sounds good, Cap,” Sam replied, and then he and Rhodes turned back to the jet for the War Machine armor.

“Remind me later to tell you about how Steve almost died last week,” Natasha said as they passed Bucky. Steve just rolled his eyes despite the involuntary uptick of his lips, ignoring Bucky’s dirty look and Natasha’s smirk.

Shuri was indeed ready for them when they met her in the lab, and was practically buzzing with excitement at the prospect of examining an infinity stone. She quickly ushered them upstairs, and had Vision lie down on an examination table. Steve took his place at the end of it, next to Natasha, while Bruce and Shuri dove into their science talk, the conversation immediately rising far above anything he would ever be able to understand.

Shuri activated her Kimoyo beads and let her hand hover over Vison’s body in a loose fist. She scanned him from his chest up to his head, then flipped her hand over and opened her palm to bring up a projection of the stone.

“Whoa,” Bruce breathed, his eyes widening as he gazed at the projection.

“The structure is polymorphic,” Shuri muttered to herself, her eyes narrowing curiously.

“Right,” Bruce replied. “We had to attach each neuron non-sequentially.”

Shuri glanced up from the projection and met Bruce’s gaze.

“Why didn’t you just reprogram the synapses to work collectively?”

Bruce gaped at her. Vision, watching the exchange from where he way lying on the table, looked to Bruce curiously. Steve didn’t understand a damn thing they were saying.

“Because…we…didn’t think of it?” Bruce replied weakly.

“I’m sure you did your best,” Shuri quipped.

“Can you do it?” Wanda asked softly, interrupting them. Shuri’s smirk faded as she met Wanda’s worried gaze.

“Yes, but there are more than two _trillion_ neurons here. One misalignment could cause a _cascade_ of circuit failures.” She glanced over to where T’Challa was still standing at the end of the table. “It will take time, brother.”

“How long?” Steve asked.

“As long as you can give me,” Shuri replied.

An alarm suddenly sounded, and Steve glanced upwards, the sound of it instantly putting him on edge.

“Something’s entered the atmosphere,” Okoye said lowly, inspecting a projection of the earth above her palm.

“ _Hey Cap, we’ve got a situation here_ ,” came Sam’s voice in his ear, and a split second later there was a low rumble of an explosion. Steve turned towards the window to see what Sam was talking about: something huge had just hit the protective barrier around the city, exploding on impact.

“ _God, I love this place_ ,” Bucky muttered under his breath.

“ _Yeah, don’t start celebrating yet guys,_ ” Rhodey replied. “ _We’ve got more incoming outside the dome_.”

Sure enough, two giant projectiles came into view, crashing into the trees just beyond the border of the city, not far from the lab. Then a third, and a fourth.

Steve glanced over and met T’Challa’s gaze to find the same uncertainty reflected in his eyes. They his eyes fell on Natasha, her brows furrowed, nibbling at her thumbnail - one of the only nervous tells she had.

“It’s too late,” Vision breathed behind them. “We need to destroy the stone now.”

Steve turned back towards him just in time to see him push himself upright and off of the table. Natasha spun around as well, the anxiousness in her eyes that Steve had seen only seconds before completely gone.

“Vision, get your ass back on the table,” she snapped - though now without the slightest bit of an almost undetectable anxious edge - before turning to follow Bruce and the Dora Milaje out of the room.

“We will hold them off,” T’Challa said to Shuri.

“Wanda,” Steve added, his eyes lingering on Vision before meeting her gaze. “As soon as that stone’s out of his head, you blow it to hell.”

She nodded, her eyes wide but sure.

”I will.”

“Evacuate the city. Engage all defenses,” T’Challa ordered as he turned to follow the rest of the group out of the room. “And get this man a shield.”

Steve, who had glanced back out of the window, turned back to catch T’Challa’s eye. He nodded.

“I have one,” Shuri replied, a bit absentmindedly as she was now focusing on Vision again. She shot a brief glance over at her brother. “Downstairs. The one I’ve been working on.”

“Thanks,” Steve replied. Shuri just nodded, already completely engrossed in her project. He’d had no idea she’d started working on anything for him, but she liked do that for them every once in a while when she was bored. 

Steve turned to leave his spot at the window, but paused next to Wanda. He let a hand rest on her shoulder, and when she met his gaze, she looked _terrified_.

He wished he had some kind of encouraging words for her. He had the utmost faith in Shuri’s abilities, but if Thanos was on one of those ships…they had almost no intel about him, no way to prepare, and no more time. They were going in almost completely blind, and with the stakes as high as they were, it made him incredibly uneasy. Instead, he gave Wanda’s shoulder a gentle squeeze, offering her the most encouraging smile he could muster.

Steve was the last one to make it down to the lower level of Shuri’s lab. Bruce was firing up the Hulkbuster armor - Bruce was apparently having some issues transforming into the Hulk, so they’d brought it as a precaution - and Natasha was speaking with a lab assistant about her batons, which had been a gift from Shuri last year. Steve met T’Challa across the room, where he was taking two small objects out of a storage drawer.

“They are not the same as you are use to,” he explained, sounding almost apologetic.He held them out, and Steve realized they were more like gauntlets, one for each arm. He took one of them and slid it onto his left arm. It was impossibly light, and vibrated with a familiar vibranium hum. He wrapped his fingers around the handle, and for a second it almost felt like his shield again.

“If you pull on that there-“ T’Challa trailed off, pointing to the handle. Steve pulled his arm back, and the gauntlet suddenly clicked, expanding to twice it’s size.

Like a shield.

A rush of familiar energy like he hadn’t felt in years surged through him. It wasn’t the same, of course, but he suddenly didn’t feel like he was _missing_ something, didn’t feel that uncomfortable emptiness that he’d learned to ignore every time he went into a fight without something on his arm. He pulled his arm back again and the gauntlet closed, retracting to it’s former slender state.

Steve heard footsteps behind him, and turned around to see Natasha approaching. He held up his arm and pulled the gauntlet to expand again, the corner of his lips curving up into an involuntary grin.

“What d’you think?” he asked, unable to hide the excitement in his voice. Natasha tilted her head a bit, reaching out to run her fingers over the sleek black vibranium. When she glanced up at him, something that almost resembled relief shone in her eyes.

“They look good,” she said, offering him a soft smile.

“I will meet you two down on the helipad,” T’Challa said, and Steve glanced over at him. “Transport will be meeting us there.”

“Right behind you,” Natasha replied, and T’Challa nodded before turning to leave.

“They looked at your batons? They’re working properly?” Steve asked, once they were alone. Natasha nodded, distracted by the gauntlet again. Her eyes were cloudy, and for the first time in a long time, Steve couldn’t read her. “You alright?”

“Yeah.” She frowned, dropping her hand away from the gauntlet and finally meeting his gaze. “Do you feel it too?”

She didn’t have to explain herself. He _did_ feel it. Something was off, something didn’t feel right. This didn’t feel like their average alien invasion. Ever since they’d gotten that phonecall from Bruce it had been lingering at the back of his mind, like they were missing something. He wasn’t used to that feeling; between the two of them, they were always prepared, even when things went wrong. But now?

Now it felt like everything was already going wrong, they just didn’t see it yet.

Steve let out a long breath and reached for the gauntlet, pulling it off of his arm. He sat it on the table next to the other one and reached for her, cupping the sides of her face in his palms.

“We’ve got a team again,” he reminded her. “It still may not be whole, but we have a lot of power on our side. We have backup.”

“Then why do you sound so unsure?” she asked softly. She let her expression slip, and he saw the uncertainty in her eyes.

“Because I’m really bad at lying.”

The corner of her lips ticked upwards into something that almost resembled a smile. Steve lifted one hand to brush her hair back from her face, tucking it behind her ear. He knew they had to meet the rest of the team downstairs; but it seemed that, if only for a second, time was standing still. He leaned down to brush his lips gently against hers, savoring the moment for at least a little bit longer.

“I love you,” she breathed, her lips moving against his. He pulled away, just enough to peer down at her. “You know that, right?”

She met his gaze with a sort of urgency, reaching up to let her hands curl around the straps of his suit. She hadn’t said it since that first night in Volgograd, almost a week ago now, and even then Steve could tell she still wasn’t totally comfortable with it. He knew it would probably be a while until she was, if that time ever came.

But right now there was no uncertainty; she was sure, and confident. Like she wasn’t sure she’d get the chance to say it again.

“I know,” Steve replied softly. She nodded, her brows furrowed, as if she’d been waiting for that confirmation. “I love you too.”

“ _Rogers, you coming?_ ”

Rhodey’s voice in their ears pulled Steve abruptly back to reality. He pulled one of his hands away from where they were still resting on the side of Natasha’s face and pressed the button on the comm link in his ear.

“Yeah, Nat’s just calibrating her bracelets,” he lied, his eyes never leaving Natasha’s. He pulled his finger away from his earpiece and offered her the most encouraging smile he could manage. He let his other hand rest on the side of her face again, and Natasha brought one of hers up to grip his wrist tightly. “We’re going to go out there, face whatever it is that’s coming, buy Shuri as much time as we can,” he started, unsure of where the confidence in his voice was coming from. “And then we’re going on vacation.”

Natasha breathed out a laugh, but she nodded, her lips curving up into his favorite crooked smile.

“Deal,” she replied softly. Steve leaned down to place a soft kiss on the top of her head and she closed her eyes, leaning into it. He let himself linger, savoring the moment for one last second before reluctantly pulling away and letting her go.

Wakanda was beautiful.

Natasha had been there before, of course. Several times. After James woke up last year she and Steve would come back to visit about once a month or so. Wakanda was safe, a place where they could relax without worry of being caught. The endless green and gold of it’s meadows, the mountains in the distance, the typically clear blue sky, the warm breeze…it all felt safe to her,familiar, similar to the compound or the Barton’s had before the snap.

The line of crash-landed alien spacecraft looming over the skyline the closer they got to the barrier around the city, however, made it feel a little less safe.

Natasha blinked, trying to keep Steve’s encouraging words at the front of her mind, trying to focus. She didn’t know why she was so unsure this time…why she was so _nervous._ She was the Black Widow, she reminded herself. She didn’t _get_ nervous. Besides, they’d been up against unbeatable odds in the past, hadn’t they? Ultron, Loki and the Chitauri…it had all seemed impossible from the start, and they’d managed.

It still didn’t suppress the feeling of dread manifesting itself deep in the back of her mind.

“How’re you doing, Bruce?” she said to distract herself. _Focus on the mission._ She glanced behind her, where the Hulkbuster was following their caravan of hover vehicles as they sped towards the edge of the city.

_“Yeah, I think I’m getting the hang of it!”_ he called back. The armor’s repulsors suddenly exploded on its feet and hands, and Bruce let out a startled cry as it jerked forward. He landed less than gracefully, but still managed to say upright. He let out a surprised laugh and took off running. _“Whoa, this is amazing! It’s like being the Hulk without actually-“_

He cut himself off with a yelp as one of the armor’s feet caught against a boulder and he fell forward. The Hulkbuster hit the ground face first and slid several yards, ripping up grass and dirt, before coming to a stop. Natasha chuckled under her breath as the car she was in zoomed past him.

_“I’m okay,”_ he muttered. Natasha glanced back at him. He pushed himself clunkily back up on his feet. _“I’m okay!”_

_“I’ve got two heat signatures breaking through the tree line,”_ Rhodey said, ignoring Bruce as he and Sam flew ahead of the group. The vehicle suddenly slowed and turned, tilting a bit to allow its passengers to hop off. Natasha followed James and the group of Dora Milaje they had ridden with and hopped down onto the soft dirt. She scanned the crowd for Steve, finding him and T’Challa passing through to the front of the group of soldiers already lined up.

Upon reaching the frontline, T’Challa had turned to greet M’Baku, the leader of the border tribe. Natasha had met him a couple times over the last year when visiting James; he had a very dry sense of humor and was constantly teasing Steve, who was never sure if he was joking or not, and was aways afraid he’d insulted him somehow. Natasha liked him.

Steve was staring straight ahead when Natasha took her place next to him, his eyes on the tree line. He was tense, and every bit of the soft, comforting look he’d given her only five minutes ago was gone. His jaw was tight and his brows furrowed, creating a deep crease between them.

“Captain, Agent Romanoff-“ T’Challa paused until the two of them had both glanced over to him. He tilted his head towards the edge of the barrier, wherethe two figures Rhodey had mentioned were approaching. “Join me?”

Steve nodded, and they followed T’Challa away from the frontline. As they approached, Natasha recognized one of the figures as the alien that had gone after Wanda, the female. She was accompanied by a larger alien, one Bruce had described from the attack in Manhattan.

She narrowed her eyes thoughtfully as they fell on the female alien. The two that they’d encountered in Edinburgh seemed close. Their body language was far too intimate for two beings who simply worked together…much like she and Steve were to each other, or Wanda was with Vision. It seemed odd that, if her hunch was right and the two of them _were_ in some kind of relationship, he wasn’t the one at her side, injured or not.

The alien lifted her sword and let it rest against the barrier, testing it’s strength and pulling it away with a low growl when she wasn’t able to penetrate it. Natasha came to a halt with Steve and T’Challa just a few feet away, the holographic barrier the only thing between them, and tilted her head a bit when she met the alien’s gaze again.

“Where’s your other friend?” she asked, her voice steady with concern, but dripping in menacing sweetness. The alien’s eyes narrowed a bit, but her expression remained otherwise unchanged.

“You will pay for his life with yours.”

The reaction didn’t settle well with Natasha. Even someone as well trained as her - and as this alien clearly was - would have some kind of reaction this soon after the death of someone they were that close to. She could recognize when someone was hiding their emotions; after all, she was a master of doing so herself. If the two of them were as close as Natasha believed them to be, even the most brutal training wouldn’t eradicate the anger, the heartbreak of losing someone you loved.

But she was emotionless. Something wasn’t right.

“Thanos will have that stone,” the alien continued, her emotionless gaze lingering on Natasha before flitting over to Steve. She seemed to be sizing them up, evaluating them in the exact same way Natasha had been. Natasha suddenly realized how much of her own body language gave her away: how close she’d subconsciously stood to Steve, how they’d each put themselves in her way when they’d confronted her the day before. She gritted her teeth, her fingers curling into a tight fist.

“That’s not gonna happen,” Steve replied lowly.

“You are in Wakanda now,” T’Challa spoke up, his voice confident and sure. “Thanos will have nothing but dust and blood.”

“We…” The alien paused, and her eyes flickered between Natasha and Steve one more time, her lips twitching up into a menacing smile. “Have blood to spare.”

She lifted her sword, and suddenly the giant spacecrafts in the distance moved. A section of them began lifting up, and the alien smirked at them before turning on her heel and heading back towards the tree line. Steve shot Natasha a sideways glance, and she could feel his uncertainty radiating off of him.

They headed back to the frontline, Steve taking the spot next to James and turning to face forward again, Natasha on his other side.

“They surrender?” James asked lowly, the exhaustion evident in his voice. Steve let out a sigh.

“Not exactly,” he muttered in reply.

Natasha watched the tree line, her body buzzing with adrenaline and anxious anticipation. T’Challa began chanting, and the crowd of warriors around them echoed back, slamming their weapons on the ground in sync. Next to her Steve brushed the back of his knuckles against her wrist in an attempt to calm her down. Instead she grabbed his wrist, squeezing it once before letting go.

A cloud of dust suddenly appeared at the edge of the tree line, and through it came several bodies. Of what, Natasha couldn’t be sure, but they were definitely alien. And there were hundreds - no, _thousands_ \- of them, all sprinting towards them.

“What the hell,” she heard James breathe lowly on Steve’s other side. Natasha let out a long breath.

“Looks like we pissed her off,” she muttered under her breath. The aliens - whatever they were - reached the barrier and barreled into it, causing it to buzz with electricity. They kept coming, forcing themselves through it, causing their limbs to be severed, even the front halves of their bodies.

“They’re killing themselves,” Okoye breathed disbelievingly, from where she stood on the other side of T’Challa.

A few of the aliens made it through, and suddenly the Wakandans on the front line activated their holographic shields. The ones behind them lifted their spears, and Bucky drew his machine gun, the gunfire rattling loudly over blasts of vibranium-powered energy and the Hulkbuster’s repulsors.

The aliens began to fall, but it wasn’t fast enough. Sam and Rhodes were doing their best from where they were flying overhead, but there were too many of them.

_“You see the teeth on those things!?_ ” Sam yelled, twisting in the air as he shot multiple projectiles towards the group, then rocketing upwards. Rhodes flew past him, sweeping low in front of the barrier.

_“Back up, Sam, or you’re gonna get tour wings singed,”_ he said, and a split second later he let out a line of explosives at the barrier.

Natasha squinted against the wave of heat that had washed over her with the explosion. A few of the aliens had survived, and were charging towards them, some of them still on fire. Beyond the barrier, there were groups breaking off to either side.

_“Cap, if these things circle the perimeter and get in behind us, there’s nothing between them and Vision,”_ Bruce said suddenly in her ear, as if he’d read her mind.

“Then we better keep ‘em in front of us,” Steve replied, his voice low, confident and angry despite the face that Natasha could hear the uncertainty lurking under the surface.

“How do we do that?” Okoye asked.

”We open the barrier,” T’Challa answered lowly next to her. Natasha glanced up at him, his eyes reflecting the same unsure confidence that she saw in Steve’s. He lifted his hand to the comm link in his ear. “On my signal, open northwest section seventeen.” He paused while the person on the other side of his secure comms line responded. “ _On my signal_.”

“This will be the end of Wakanda,” M’Baku muttered.

“Then it will be the noblest ending in history,” Okoye whispered back. It was the first time Natasha had noticed even a hint of anxiousness in her.

Steve lifted his arm, pulling back on his new gauntlet. It clicked open, widening into a shield. Natasha curled her fingers back to charge her bracelets, her heart pounding against her chest. T’Challa stepped ahead of them as the front line lowered their shields, and when she saw Steve glance over at her out of the corner of her eye, she met his gaze.

“Don’t die, Romanoff,” he said softly, low enough for only her to hear. The corner of his lips twitched up into what she imagined was supposed to be an encouraging smile. Instead, only for a second, he let his expression slip, let her her see how terrified he was.

“You either,” she whispered back.

_“Wakanda forever,”_ T’Challa cried suddenly before sprinting towards the barrier, and the group charged. Steve took off after him and Natasha followed, James close behind. Then he lifted his wrist to his mouth, yelling for the barrier to be opened.

As soon as it split open the aliens came charging through, practically toppling over each other. Steve pushed forward, and he and T’Challa overtook the rest of the group. Natasha saw them leap over a small stream, then lost sight of them as they disappeared into the fray.

In an instant, the bright gold and green fields of Wakanda had turned into a warzone, muddled with grey and blood and violence. Natasha charged at the first alien body she came across, whipping her batons out and charging them as she swung them in the alien’s direction. It was followed by another and another, endless waves of the things with their thick, leathery, grey skin, their six legs and deadly claws, their mouths full of long, sharp teeth.

One of them nicked Natasha’s leg with its claw and Natasha gasped, the pain shooting up her leg for a split second. She spun around and jabbed the thing in the chest with her baton, shooting the strongest charge she could through it. The thing shook with electricity before falling over, only to be replaced with two more coming straight at her.

“ _How much longer, Shuri!?_ ” T’Challa panted over the comms line. Natasha vaguely realized that he wasn’t too far from her, still in the creek, evidenced only by the occasional blast of purple energy from his suit. She briefly let herself hope Steve was still by his side as she charged at the two aliens coming for her.

_“I’ve only just begun, brother!”_ Shuri replied in her ear.

_“You might want to pick up the pace!”_ T’Challa shot back.

The aliens kept coming, and Natasha let out a frustrated huff. She was fast, but not fast enough to take down more than a couple of these things at a time. They were wild and seemingly brainless, but they were much larger than her, and strong. If she got overrun, there wouldn’t be much she could do.

She took the split second before she was attacked again to shove her batons back into their holster on her back, then reached for one of her pistols on her hip. She flung it up and fired, hitting the closest alien right in the face. It dropped and she moved on to the next one, emptying her magazine and then dodging towards the sound of automatic gunfire behind her. James caught her gaze and nodded, covering her while she reloaded.

In the split second before she could swing her pistol upright again, one of the aliens came charging at James, knocking his rifle out of his hands before he fell to the ground. Natasha spun around to aim at the alien, on top of him and attempting to claw at his face, but she was suddenly knocked backwards with a hard blow to her stomach.

Her pistol flew out of her hand, and before she could reach for her batons again, she landed hard on her back. The blow knocked the breath out of her and she gasped as she tried to push herself back up, but suddenly two aliens were on top of her. She managed to rip one of her batons out of its holster just in time to stop one of them from slicing it’s giant claws across her face, but her hands shook with effort as she held the thing back, it’s teeth only inches away from her face.

“ _There’s too many of them!_ ” Bruce cried in ear, followed by a yelp and a muffled _thunk_ as the Hulkbuster armor hit the ground. Natasha grunted, trying to slide her hand down to the button that would activate her batons, even though she knew her arm was probably only seconds from giving out under the strength of the alien above her.

Something exploded in the distance, and a strong wave electricity washed over her. The ground beneath her rumbled, and suddenly the alien holding her down was gone, having been knocked away by something.

Natasha gasped as she quickly pushed herself up to her feet, her whole body shaking from both the strong electric current filling the air and how close the thing had gotten to slicing her open. She scanned the field frantically for James and Steve, but she got distracted by the beam of multicolored light that had appeared in the middle of the field.

And then she grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alexa play immigrant song by led zeppelin
> 
> i wonder what's gonna happen next. any guesses? theories?? hmmm 🤔


	5. Chapter 5

One minute Steve was being knocked to the ground and swarmed by aliens, barely held back by one of his gauntlets…and the next they were being pushed off of him, exploding in a burst of energy that made his hair stand on end. He froze, unsure what had happened, peeking over the edge of the his gauntlet. There was a beam of light in the middle of the field, which disappeared to reveal a familiar shadow.

It was _Thor_. Very much alive, very much in Wakanda, anger burning in his eyes that coud be felt in the electricity charging the air. Steve grinned as the relief flooded through him.

“ _Ha, you guys are so screwed now!_ ” Bruce said with a relieved laugh. Thor charged towards the two aliens directing their army.

“Bring me _Thanos!_ ” he demanded furiously, his thunderous voice booming across the field. Lightning crackled off of him as he leapt up into the air, and the sky - which had been clear only seconds ago - suddenly darkened with storm clouds. Thor twisted in the air and rocketed back down, his eyes glowing with electricity. He slammed into the ground in front of the opening in the barrier, causing a shockwave of electricity to ripple through the hoard of aliens.

The attack thinned the crowd significantly, but it hadn’t stopped the ones still been trying to get through. Steve leapt to his feet and quickly scanned the field, searching for the bright platinum of Natasha’s hair. He found her a few yards away, reaching out her hand to pull Bucky up from the ground. Steve let out a breath of relief, feeling for the first time since receiving Bruce’s call yesterday that things _might_ actually go their way.

The second of reprieve didn’t last long. There were still a few stragglers, as well as a second wave making its way through the barrier. Steve twisted around and swiped at the alien closest to him, taking it down with the sharp edge of his gauntlet. They started to swarm again, but Thor suddenly dropped down next to Steve with a _thud_ and swung his axe, taking them all out in one hit. He turned to focus on another group and Steve turned his back to him, focusing on two that were charging at him. They fell relatively easily with a few blows from his gauntlets, and when they fell he glanced back around at Thor.

He looked perfectly fine, considering Bruce had been convinced he’d been killed. He looked different than he had when Steve had last seen him, however; his hair had been cut short, and there a relatively fresh-looking scar over his right eye. In fact, something about his eye seemed off; it was a bright amber instead of pale blue, and something about it reminded Steve of Vision’s eyes, how they were just human enough to distract from their mechanical makeup.

“New haircut?” Steve greeted. Thor just pointed at him.

“I notice you’ve copied my beard,” he replied drily, gesturing towards his own. Steve just let out a long breath and nodded. There would be time for catching up later. “Oh, by the way-” Thor added, “-this is a friend of mine. Tree.”

He gestured towards the figure next to him, which was, in fact, a tree. Steve had noticed it arrive with him, as well as what had looked like a raccoon. He hadn’t really had a chance to process that yet.

Steve glanced over to the figure next to Thor. It’s arms - or, what Steve _assumed_ were it’s arms, considering it was a _tree_ \- had impaled three of the aliens at once, and it paused to glance over at them, holding them in the air.

“I am groot,” it yelled in an odd, high-pitched voice. Steve glanced up at Thor, who just raised an expectant eyebrow at him. Then he let out a long, exhausted breath.

“I am…Steve Rogers,” he greeted, gesturing to himself. The tree ignored him, turning back to the three aliens still struggling in the air and slamming them violently back down to the ground.

“We shall catch up later, my friend,” Thor said, bringing his axe up to offer him a sarcastic salute - something he’d undoubtedly picked up from Natasha and Tony years ago - before spinning around and leaping up into the air again.

A low rumble suddenly caught Steve’s attention. The ground was shaking, the trees beyond the barrier collapsing. As the rumbling got closer he realized it was something _under_ the ground, something quickly making it’s way towards them. It passed underneath the barrier before breaking through the earth, revealing itself to be some kind of giant mechanical drill, which was now heading straight for the center of the battlefield.

“ _Fall back!”_ T’Challa suddenly cried in Steve’s ear. _“Fall back now!_ ”

The thing broke apart, each piece of it splitting off into individual wheels that turned and careened across the field. Steve saw two more of the machines pop up from beneath the ground before he had to sprint away from one of the wheels.

Out of the corner of his eye, Steve suddenly spotted Natasha. She was several yards away, trying to push one of the aliens off of her. He took off towards her, dodging the aliens in his way instead of engaging them. He swiped at the one attacking her, bashing the sharp edge of his shield against it’s head. It fell away, and Steve had just enough time to grab Natasha around the waist and pull her out of the way before one of the wheels came barreling through the spot she’d just been.

“You alright?” Steve panted, once it had passed. Natasha glanced up at him, her eyes wide.

“Yeah,” she breathed, nodding. The corner of her lips ticked upwards into an amused smile. “Thanks.”

The rumbling got louder again, and Steve glanced up just in time to see a second one coming towards them. He pulled Natasha towards the ditch the previous wheel had made, and - knowing exactly what he was thinking - she jumped down into it. Steve followed, his boots hitting the dirt just after hers. He crowded her against the side of the ditch and raised one of his shields above their heads, covering them as the wheel flew over them.

“So dramatic,” Natasha muttered under her breath. Steve lifted his head to glance down at her, and she smirked at him.

“Shut up,” he grumbled back, but his lips still curved upwards. He pulled his shield away, making sure the coast was clear before climbing back up out of the ditch and reaching out a hand to help her up.

“Thanks _Captain_ ,” she said with a sarcastic grin. She picked up one of her batons from where it had fallen on the ground - thankfully still in one piece - and took off towards a group that Okoye was taking on a few yards away.

Steve ran in the opposite direction Natasha had gone, swiping at each of the aliens he came across and knocking them down relatively easily. They were definitely thinning quickly now, primarily thanks to Thor. He was outside of the barrier, attempting to stop as many as he could before they got through.

A hesitant seed of hope began growing in the back of Steve’s mind. If this was the worst of Thanos’ assault, if they could hold them off a _little_ longer…it would give Shuri enough time to get the stone out of Vision’s head, and for Wanda to destroy it. Even if Thanos _did_ show up, he still wouldn’t be able to get the stone.

Another giant drill popped up from underground, and Steve leapt out of its way. He brought his shield up and blocked a blow from one of the aliens, then shoved it back. It flew backwards into three more, knocking them over just in time to be crushed under one of the wheels.

A split second later, however, the entire machine suddenly glowed red. It rose into the air and then slammed back down, sliding back towards the barrier and taking out a huge crowd of aliens.

Steve only got a quick glance of Wanda before he had to spin around and stop one of the aliens from leaping onto his back. Had she been out there the whole time?

_“Guys, we’ve got a Vision situation here!_ ” Sam said suddenly. Steve’s eyes found the tower of Shuri’s lab, just in time to see two figures tumble out of the window towards the forest below it.

_Shit_.

“Somebody get to Vision!” he called into his wrist, just in time to see an alien about to lunge at him. He punched it in the face and it fell, only for a second to leap at him from the side, knocking him to the ground.

“ _I got him!”_ Bruce called as he flew overhead in the Hulkbuster armor.

“ _On my way,”_ Wanda followed, but was suddenly cut off by a cry of pain.Steve struggled with the giant mess of teeth and claws on top of him, landing a punch to the thing’s face. It went limp and he pushed it off of him, then stumbled to his feet. He glanced around for Wanda, but there was too much chaos.

“ _Guys, Vision needs backup, now!”_ Bruce said, his voice a bit strained. Steve swore under his breath and punched away the alien closest to him before spinning around on his heel and sprinting towards the group of trees below Shuri’s lab that he’d seen Vision fall into.

The forest was eerily quiet compared to the chaos out in the field. There was a dull metallic clanking in the distance, which Steve assumed was Bruce considering the one-sided chatter in his ear. He scanned the trees, his eyes falling on one of Thanos’ team - the other alien they’d faced the other day, who they’d assumed dead - just in time to see him stab Vision in the chest.

Anger bubbled up inside of him and he sprinted for them, ramming into the alien just as Vision slumped to the ground. It went flying, taken completely by surprise, his spear clattering against a rock as it fell to the forest floor. Steve rolled to his stomach glanced back at Vision, who was watching him with shock in his eyes as he held his hand over his chest.

“Get out of here!” he demanded, pushing himself up to his feet and spinning around just in time to parry a blow from the alien. He punched him in the face with the pointed end of his gauntlet, and when the alien stumbled he punched him again, knocking him to the ground. When he glanced back around, Vision hadn’t moved. “ _Go!_ ”

An odd metallic _whirr_ rang in Steve’s ears, and he spun around just in time to block a blow from the alien’s staff, which he must have picked up while Steve was distracted. He blocked the blow with one of his gauntlets, then twisted around to catch it in both hands before it was swung at him again. The alien caught his gaze but hesitated, his eyes boring into Steve’s as his brow furrowed in confusion.

And then the second passed, almost as quickly as it had come. He growled lowly, as if suddenly overcome with rage.

Steve shoved the staff down, taking advantage of the hesitation, holding it with one hand as he punched with the other. The alien stumbled but recovered quickly, wrenching the staff out of Steve’s grasp and swinging it forcefully at him. Steve ducked down as it whizzed over his head, and when it swung at him again he blocked the blow with one hand, using his other to grab the end of it and twist it out of the alien’s grasp. It flung away from them, landing in the dirt once again.

Steve took his opening, landing a punch to the alien’s shoulder; but he was quick, and before Steve realized what was happening, long fingers were curling tightly around his neck. He gasped, trying to twist away, but suddenly he was being thrown across the clearing. The small of his back hit hard against a fallen tree trunk and he kept rolling, tumbling to the ground. He barely had enough time to open his eyes before the alien was on top of him, his hand around his neck once again.

This time, he had no intention of throwing him. This was how he planned on killing him: holding him to the forest floor, watching as the life was drained from his eyes. Steve wrapped his hands around the alien’s wrist, but he didn’t budge. He was quite strong, and considering the position and the lack of oxygen getting into his lungs, Steve couldn’t get the leverage to push him off.

The alien leaned in close, his eyes full of rage and hatred. He took a ragged breath, tightening his grip around Steve’s throat.

“Your partner just killed mine,” he said, his voice shaking, barely above a rage-filled whisper. He tightened his grip around Steve’s throat, and he desperately gasped for air. His vision was starting to get fuzzy around the edges, and he could feel the darkness of unconsciousness closing in on the edges. “It will be an _honor_ to take your life in exchange.”

Steve vaguely registered that he was talking about Natasha, but his brain was sluggish and he couldn’t make sense of why. He tried again to push the alien off of him, but that just made him growl angrily and squeeze tighter. Steve closed his eyes, willing himself not to give in to the darkness closing in around him. He needed to stay awake, to get away from him and find Natasha. If he went for her next…

Suddenly the pressure was relieved from his throat and Steve sucked in a ragged breath, dizzy from the air rushing into his lungs. He blinked and gazed up at the alien, whose eyes had gone wide, his mouth gaping open in shock. And then Steve noticed the and of his spear, sticking out through his chest.

It pushed further and the alien gasped. He went limp, still held up by the staff, and then he was being thrown aside. Steve coughed roughly as he pushed himself up out of the dirt to see Vision standing over him. He dropped the staff and caught Steve’s gaze for a split second before he collapsed.

Steve leapt forward, catching Vision before he hit the ground. He grabbed him by the arm and helped him back to his feet, holding him steady with a hand against his back.

“I thought I told you to go,” Steve panted. Vision stood upright and glanced over at Steve, a faint golden glow flickering over him.

“We don’t trade lives, Captain,” he replied softly. Steve’s brows furrowed,but still he nodded in agreement, letting out a long sigh. “Please, help me sit.”

Steve turned Vision around, then gently sat him down against the fallen tree trunk. Vision let out a long breath, and Steve studied him for a second. He’d lived with Vision at the compound for over a year, and yet Steve couldn’t recall a time that he’d never looked this _human_. He had pain and fear in his mechanical grey eyes, and his hand trembled as he covered the wound in his chest.

“You alright?” Steve asked, once he’d settled back against the tree. Vision nodded, though Steve could tell he was lying. He wondered if it was the first time he’d ever done so.

“Thank you, Captain,” he replied, letting one of his hands fall to Steve’s arm and squeezing it gently. “I owe you my life; not once, but twice.”

“You don’t owe me anything,” Steve insisted, shaking his head. He let out a long breath. “What about-“

“Princess Shuri was unconscious when I last saw her, but-” Vison began, but paused and winced when he phased, a gold hologram flickering over him. “-but I believe her to be quite alright,” he finished finally, his voice shaking.

Steve let out a long breath of relief, but then his eyes fell on Vision’s forehead. The stone was still there.

“She didn’t have enough time,” he said softly.

Vision caught Steve’s gaze again, then shook his head slowly. He opened his mouth to reply, but then his eyes flitted to a spot over Steve’s shoulder.

“Wanda,” he breathed, relief flashing through his eyes. Steve glanced around and, sure enough, Wanda had landed on the ground not far from them. He stood and got out of her way just in time for her to drop to her knees beside him.

Steve heard footsteps and turned away from the two of them to see Natasha, who had been following Wanda. Her eyes were wide when they met his, and Steve suddenly realized how close his mic had been to the alien’s face when he was choking him. Natasha must have heard his threat. She seemed to relax at the sight of him, though he did notice her eyes linger on his throat, on the bruises he was sure were already forming.

Before Steve could cross the clearing towards her, Vision let out a strangled cry, getting his attention. Steve spun back around to see him wincing in pain, the stone in his forehead gleaming brightly.

“What?” Wanda breathed, her voice shaking as she checked him over. “What is it?”

Vision didn’t answer her right away. Instead he glanced up and around him, his eyes wide and panicked as they scanned their surroundings frantically, a terrified look on his face. Then he looked Wanda in the eyes again and lowering his voice to a whisper.

“He’s here.”

An eerie silence rippled through the air, making the hairs on the back of Natasha’s neck stand up. Sounds of the fight still going on in the field beyond the woods seemed to fade. She could hear the wind, could hear the breeze rustling the leaves and the forest around them, could hear every single thump of her heart against her ribcage.

Natasha’s eyes fell on Steve across the clearing. He looked just as uneasy as she felt. He was glancing up at the sky, his hair blowing away from his face. He frowned, then lifted his finger to his ear.

“Everyone on my position,” he said. His voice was strong and confident but the look in his eyes told her he felt anything but. He met her gaze, his jaw tight, and for a split second he let her see how afraid he was.

Natasha heard footsteps behind her, and out of the corner of her eye she saw James, closely followed by Sam, who had dropped down next to them.She caught James’ eyes and he frowned, shooting her a confused look, as the temperature suddenly dropped what felt like at least twenty degrees.

“What the hell?” she muttered, more to herself than to James. She glanced up at the sky, at the leaves falling loose from the trees, the cool breeze hitting her face and gently blowing her hair back.

Suddenly Bruce, still in the Hulkbuster armor, turned with a mechanical _whirr_. Natasha followed his gaze and her eyes fell on a small blue and grey cloud of energy. It grew larger and larger, emitting strange bright blue lightning as it did, until a figure stepped out of it.

There he stood, just as Bruce had described him. He was huge, at least eight feet, his thick, purple skin veiny and scarred. On his left hand was a golden gauntlet, the one Bruce had told them about, which held the stones.

It was only missing one.

The cloud around him disappeared and he stood there, watching them all curiously, as if he was waiting to see what they would do. Natasha slowly reached for the taser clipped to her belt, using her thumb to dial it up as far as it would go. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Wanda stand, bringing her hands together as a ball of red energy formed between her palms.

“Cap,” Bruce said finally, his voice low and shaking just enough for Natasha to notice, “that’s him.”

Steve took a deep breath, narrowing his eyes on Thanos as he lifted his arm and pulled back on on of his gauntlets. It popped open, and he exhaled before taking a tentative step forward.

“Eyes up,” he said, his voice strong. “Stay sharp.”

And then he charged.

Bruce was the first one to reach him, leaping in the air and firing up theHulkbuster’s repulsors with their familiar _whirr_. Thanos took a few steps forward, lifting his arm and twisting the gauntlet. The blue stone on it glowed, and then suddenly so did the Hulkbuster armor. In a haze of blue it went right through Thanos like a hologram, tumbling into a nearby cliff before turning solid again.

Steve reached him next, but was engulfed in a cloud of purple energy before he was was effortlessly tossed aside. T’Challa leapt up, his suit charged and glowing bright purple, but Thanos grabbed him by the throat with the gauntlet and punched him into the ground, forcing the explosion of energy from his suit into the ground instead.

Sam shot up into the air behind Natasha and aimed for Thanos, swooping down in front of him and opening fire. Thanos continued walking towards Vision, unbothered. He lifted the gauntlet again and Sam’s suit failed sending him crashing to the ground.

A bright red light suddenly caught Natasha’s attention, and she dragged her eyes away from Thanos long enough to let them find on the source. It was Wanda, her hand extended, a beam of red energy directed towards the stone in Vision’s head. A heavy ache shot through Natasha’s chest when she realized what she was doing, when she saw the anguish on her face and the tears filling her eyes.

A fresh wave of anger and _hatred_ suddenly washed over her. Had Wanda not been through enough? She’d lost her parents, lost her home. She’d been manipulated and experimented on by Hydra, lost her home again, lost her _brother_. She’d been discriminated against for being a mutant, been arrested, been a fugitive for two years. Not to mention her entire childhood, being brought up in a country that was constantly at war with either it’s neighbors or itself.

She didn’t deserve this, to be the one who had to kill the one she loved, for it to be the only way to save the universe. Natasha turned back towards Thanos, firing up her taser, shaking with rage and determination. James lifted his rifle next to her and opened fire as he took off towards him, and she followed, firing up her taser. Thanos lifted the gauntlet towards Rhodes, who had also opened fire on him, crushing his armor and tossing him aside. James was next, pushed back by a cloud of purple, like Steve had been.

Okoye sprinted past Natasha, aiming her spear. Thanos stopped it in midair and flicked it aside with a twitch of his finger before blasting her away as well. Natasha fired her tasers, but the charge didn’t do a damn thing. Thanos shifted his gaze to Natasha, annoyed, then lifted the gauntlet again.

She expected to be shoved aside like everyone else, but instead the ground shook underneath her and then _exploded_ , giant chunks of earth popping up from under the ground. Something wrapped around her leg, tripping her, and she twisted herself around as it dragged her to the ground and she landed hard on her back. Whatever had wrapped around her leg wound up her torso, and she realized it was some sort of thick vine, probably roots below the forest floor.

Natasha struggled, trying to push the vines and debris off of her, but the more she moved, the tighter they became. She craned her neck around, desperately trying to get some kind of vantage. She got an upside-down glimpse of Steve, who had pushed himself back up and was attacking Thanos again. He grabbed at the gauntlet as Thanos swiped at him, holding him back. Steve cried out but held on, until Thanos lifted his other hand and punched him square in the face. Steve went limp and fell to the ground with a thump, and Natasha’s heart stopped.

“ _Steve,_ ” she gasped, but it wasn’t much more than a breath. She struggled again, the vines squeezing so tightly around her that they were pushing the breath right out of her lungs. She blinked, a bit dazed, trying to focus on Steve, silently begging him to get up. He still wasn’t moving, and the last thing she remembered before blacking out was the forest exploding.

Steve gasped awake, his entire body jolting with pain. It took him a few seconds to realize he was face down in the dirt, and he pulled his arms underneath him to push himself upright.

And then he realized what had woken him up.

Wanda’s scream. She was now lying on the ground, only a handful of feet away from him. He pushed himself to his knees, but his head swam and he fell forward, his palms landing in the dirt. Confronting Thanos was a bit of a blur, but nothing could make him forget how much it had fucking _hurt_ when he’d punched him. He had no doubt he probably had a pretty serious concussion. He sucked in a few deep breaths, pushing through through the nausea, so he could crawl across the clearing towards Wanda.

“Hey,” he breathed, resting his hand on her shoulder and rolling her over. She gasped, meeting his gaze with wide, horrified eyes, swollen and filled with tears.

“Vis,” she whispered, her voice shaking, pushing herself up and away from him. She twisted herself around and Steve followed her gaze. Vision was still alive, dangling from Thanos’ huge hand around his throat. He reached out, using his fingers to dig into Vision’s head and rip the stone right out of it. Then he tossed Vision aside, his body falling to the ground, grey and lifeless with a giant hole in his head.

Steve’s blood turned to ice in his veins. Wanda let out a sob next to him and tried to push herself up off the ground, but Steve grabbed her wrist to stop her. Thanos wasted no time in dropping the stone onto the gauntlet, which sent a surge of energy through him. Steve scrambled back, taking Wanda with him despite her resistance. He pushed himself to his knees and forced her behind him, activating the shield on the only gauntlet he had left.

Thanos cried out as the power of the stones surged through him, but he was cut off by a giant bolt of lightning hitting him square in the chest. It sent a shockwave through the air that sent Steve and Wanda flying backwards into the bushes behind them. Wanda’s hands flew up, and even though they shook, she created a shield of bright red energy, blocking them from the electric storm only a few yards ahead of them. Thanos yelled angrily and lifted the gauntlet, shooting a beam of multicolored energy in the direction the lightning had come, but Thor’s axe suddenly cut through it, lodging itself in his chest with a blast.

Suddenly it was quiet again, and Wanda dropped her hands. She shot Steve a wide-eyed apologetic look before quickly scrambling to her feet and sprintingback across the clearing where Vision’s body was still laying.

Steve pushed himself upright, wincing at the pain that shot through him. His hand fell to his stomach, where his uniform was soaked with blood. He let out a long breath when he realized his gunshot wound from last week must have ripped back open. The other one had closed up and scarred after a few days; the one on his stomach, however, had been particularly nasty.

Steve heard rustling behind him, and he glanced around to see T’Challa in the bushes behind him. He caught Steve’s eye and nodded as an assurance that he was okay, then turned to scan the forest, likely to search for Okoye.

Steve stumbled to his feet, taking a second to breathe while Thor dealt with Thanos. His eyes searched the trees around him, looking for his team. He saw Sam not far away; he looked as if he too had been knocked out, but was starting to push himself up from the ground and seemed to be okay. Wanda had made it to Vision’s body and was sitting at his side, tears streaming steadily down her cheeks. He saw Bucky too, not far away from Wanda and Vision. He didn’t see Natasha, and he was about to lift his finger to the comm link in his ear when suddenly Thor yelled out from the clearing.

“What did you _do!?_ ”

Steve spun around, the urgency in Thor’s voice making his stomach drop. He took a few steps forward, wincing at the way his head swam and the burning in his stomach. Thor was standing in the middle of the clearing, his axe on the ground in front of him.

“Where’d he go?”

Thor didn’t answer. He just stood there, staring at the axe on the ground, the sky darkening overhead. He was practically vibrating with anger, the air charged with so much electricity it made Steve’s skin prickle uncomfortably.

“Thor,” Steve said, his voice cracking, dread bubbling in the pit of his stomach like acid. He glanced back over at Thor, who finally met his gaze. “ _Where’d he go?_ ”

“Steve?”

At the sound of Bucky’s uncertain voice Steve whipped around, his heart hammering against his chest. He met his eyes briefly, but then Bucky looked down at his arm. It was being swarmed by something, a kind of bug, maybe. So were his feet. He took a few steps forward, meeting Steve’s gaze again with a terrified look in his eyes before he dropped his gun and tripped, falling forward into the dirt.

It wasn’t until nothing hit the ground that Steve realized it hadn’t been bugs. He’d _disintegrated._

Without thinking Steve was crossing the clearing, kneeling at the spot that Bucky had fallen just before he’d disappeared. Suddenly he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t _think_ ; he glanced back around to Thor, searching for answers. Thor just continued to stare at him, his eyes wide and dumbfounded.

Steve dropped his gaze back down to the pile of ash in front of him, reaching out a shaking hand to touch it to the ground. When he pulled it away it was covered in dust. He stared down at it, his mind infuriatingly blank as he attempted to process what was happening. There _had_ to be some kind of explanation. Thor had stopped him! Steve saw it himself, he’d shoved the axe right into his chest, right into his _heart_. Thanos was _dead!_

Finally he dragged his eyes away from the ashes on the ground and glanced up to find Wanda. She’d been staring down at Vision’s lifeless body when she too began turning to dust, but then her tear-filled eyes suddenly flitted upward. They met Steve’s only briefly, looking almost serene as they lifted towards the sky and she disintegrated.

Steve stumbled forward, but he was too late. She was gone by the time he reached her, and he knelt down beside Vision. Vaguely he heard voices in the forest around him, heard the low rumble of thunder above him, but everything felt muffled, like he was underwater. He heard Okoye crying out frantically, he heard Rhodey calling out for Sam. His brain couldn’t process that, couldn’t let him admit what that meant. So he did the only thing he _could_ process, and reached out to Vision, gently rolling him onto his back.

He was completely grey, all of the nearly humanlike life he’d had completely drained out of him. His body was destroyed, the hole in his head a mess of tangled wires that used to connect him to the stone. Steve slumped back to sit on the ground, unable to hold himself up anymore.

“What is this? What the hell is happening?”

He vaguely registered Rhodey’s voice, but he couldn’t focus on what he was saying. His eyes fell on Vision’s; they were pure white, a stark contrast to the fear and determination he’d seen in them earlier, or pure adoration he’d seen them look at Wanda with. His entire body shook and his vision started turning to static as the panic started creeping in. He sucked in several sharp breaths, trying to focus.

They lost.

Steve dragged his eyes away from Vision’s, the realization causing the paralyzing panic to surge, blooming inside his chest as it spread. The forest blurred in front of him, his heart pounding impossibly fast as he sucked in a shallow breath.

“Oh god,” he mumbled, his voice shaking.

And then a single thought crossed his mind, finally sending him over the edge.

_Natasha_.

“Thor, where’d he go?”

Natasha gasped, sucking in a deep breath. The air felt wonderful in her lungs, considering the last thing she remembered was being unable to breathe. She blinked a few times, realizing she could move again. The vines that had held her against the ground were gone, as well as the chunks of earth that had trapped her.

She rolled onto her stomach and pulled her arms underneath her, wincing as she pushed herself to her feet. She glanced around and her gaze fell on James, just in time for him to turn to dust right before her eyes.

Natasha blinked, trying to comprehend what she’d just seen. She _was_ awake, right? She hadn’t gotten hit in the head? Steve crossed the clearing, kneeling beside the spot where James had just been, looking as dumbfounded as Natasha felt. Her heart thumped wildly in her chest and she spun around, trying to find someone else, _anyone_ else.

She saw T’Challa making his way for Okoye, who was still lying on the ground where Thanos had thrown her. He reached for her, but just like James, he began to disintegrate; first his arm, and then the rest of his body, until he was nothing but dust. Okoye froze, looking horrified, staring at the spot he’d just stood.And then she heard Rhodes not far from her, calling for Sam.

Natasha spun around, looking for Steve again, but he was gone. She panicked, sprinting in the direction she’d last seen him. She saw Thor and Rhodes in the clearing, as well as Bruce in the Hulkbuster armor, which had apparently become free of the cliff he’d been stuck in since Thanos arrived. Then finally she saw Steve, kneeling over Vision.

Not Vision. Vision’s _body_.

Natasha skidded to a halt behind him, her hand flying out to land on her stomach as she was hit with a sudden wave of nausea. Vision was grey and lifeless, a hole in his head where the stone used to be. Ashes littered ground around him, and she didn’t have to look around at who _wasn’t_ there to know whose they were. Steve let Vision go and fell backwards to sit on the ground, slumping defeatedly.

“What is this?” Rhodey asked, his voice tight. When no one answered him he took a step forward, his damaged suit creaking. “What the hell is happening?”

“Oh, god,” Steve breathed, his voice shaking almost as much as she was.

Natasha’s breaths came faster than she could control and she gasped, blinking through the wetness in her eyes and the dizziness clouding her vision. She couldn’t drag her eyes away from Vision, the emptiness in his eyes and the dust all over him and the forest floor.

“Nat…” Steve mumbled, and she finally glanced down to where he was sitting in front of him. His head suddenly snapped up and he glanced frantically around the clearing. “Where’s…where’s N- has anyone seen-“

Natasha couldn’t muster up any words, so took a few dazed steps forward and fell to her knees next to him. The second she did he was reaching for her, his eyes wide and frantic as they bore into hers, as if he didn’t think she was real. He wrapped his arms tightly around her, half pulling her into his lap. Natasha twisted around to face him and he buried his face into her hair, his breaths hot and fast against her skin. He shook violently, his heart thumping dangerously fast in his chest.

“Don’t disappear,” he mumbled, no louder than a breath of air. He squeezed her tighter, as if that was prevent her from turning to ash too. “P-please. Please don’t…don’t disappear.”

“I’m here,” she breathed back, bringing her hand up to rest on the side back of his head, holding him tight against her. Her fingers curled into his hair, silently begging for the same thing. “ _Dyshat’, solnyshko._ ”

“I...I thought I killed him.”

Natasha lifted her head, glancing over to where Thor stood across the clearing. He wasn’t looking at her, his eyes focusing instead on Steve, who was still shaking beneath her as he tried to catch his breath. Bruce was watching him with a look of defeated shock, and Rhodes was staring uncomfortably down at the ground. It suddenly occurred to Natasha that she was probably the only one who knew how bad his panic attacks got.

“Yeah, well, you didn’t,” Rhodes muttered, his eyes still focused on the ground. His voice shook, but there was an edge to it. Thor ignored him.

“I thought…” Thor bent down to pick up his axe, gazing down at it as he turned it over in his hand. “Right in his heart...but he...”

“He snapped his fingers.”

They all looked to Bruce when he spoke, including Steve, who lifted his head and glanced over him with wide, glassy eyes. The Hulkbuster armor suddenly _whirred_ , then it knelt down and opened up. He stumbled out of it, grabbing onto it to steady himself. Then he sank to the ground next to the raccoon that had arrived with Thor.

“That…that’s what he wanted,” he continued softly. “To get the…the stones. Snap his fingers.” He paused again, glancing up to meet Natasha’s gaze, and his voice dropped to nearly a whisper. “To…eliminate half of the universe.”

“Fuck,” Rhodes mumbled under his breath.

They all fell silent again as Bruce’s words settled over them. The forest was still eerily quiet, with the exception of the muffled screams in the distance, in the direction of the fields. There had still been a fight going on, Natasha realized. Everyone out there, the Dora Milaje, T’Challa’s warriors, M’Baku and his tribe…they’d had no idea what was happening. This was going on all over the world, the _universe_ , and no one but them knew why.

“Cap,” Bruce said hoarsely, still staring numbly at her and Steve. “Wh-what do we do?”

Steve glanced away from Bruce and met Natasha’s gaze, his eyes wide and filled with unshed tears. He watched her uncertainly for a few seconds, his breaths still coming too fast, his bottom lip trembling. He blinked and a tear escaped; it slid down his face, tracking in the dirt and blood on his skin. Natasha reached up and swiped it away with her thumb, blinking back her own tears.

Then, finally, he let out a long, defeated breath before he spoke.

“I don’t know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RUSSIAN TRANSLATIONS:  
>  _Dyshat_ \- breathe
> 
> (i use google translate don't @ me)
> 
> also hi i'm the actual worst at self promotion lol: [twitter](https://twitter.com/capsiclewidow) | [tumblr](https://capsiclewidow.tumblr.com)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a rough one, just a forewarning

**DAYS AFTER THE SNAP: 0**

Steve had been in World War II. He’d been in the Battle of New York, at the Triskelion when SHIELD fell. In Novi Grad when Ultron destroyed it. He’d seen death and destruction…a lot of it.

But cleaning up after Thanos was… _overwhelming_.

Mangled alien bodies littered the field, mixed with those of Wakanda’s warriors and Dora Milaje who hadn’t made it before Thor had arrived. If that wasn’t bad enough, there were ashes _everywhere_ , catching in the wind and blowing through the field like a dust storm. Burning destruction from the alien’s ships lay beyond the barrier, only adding to pollution of dust and debris.

It was well into the night by the time Steve and Natasha finally retired to their room, the one they’d stayed in the times they’d visited. Rhodes - who’d been the one dealing with the United Nations and US government all day - had turned in a few hours earlier, closely followed by Bruce, and then the raccoon. Thor was the only one who’d remained, but Steve could tell he was about at the end of his rope, so he made the call to save the debrief until morning.

 _Debrief_. As if they needed one. Half of the universe had just turned to dust…there wasn’t much else to say.

Before Steve had even closed the door behind them, Natasha was already crossing the room, dropping her bag on the bed, and digging through it for her phone charger. As soon as it powered back on she was pressing it to her ear, pacing back and forth anxiously while it rang. Steve could only bring himself to sit on the bed, watching her numbly from across the room.

Both of their phones had died hours ago. As soon as the initial shock had worn off Natasha tried calling Clint, but the network had been so overwhelmed she hadn’t been able to get a call out for hours. Once she finally did, it went to voicemail. She’d been alternating between him, Laura, and Maria all day since, until her battery finally gave out.

Natasha let out a frustrated huff, pulled the phone away from her ear, hung up, and redialed. After a few muffled rings that seemed to echo through the quiet room, it went to voicemail again. She closed her eyes, inhaling slowly and letting out a shaking breath before speaking.

“God dammit Barton, will you c-call me-“

Her voice cracked, and she stopped abruptly. She squeezed her eyes shut, just for a second, just long enough for her to take an almost undetectable deep breath. Then she exhaled, her features calm, and opened her eyes again. Steve could still see the desperation swirling in them as she stared up at the ceiling, blinking away the tears that were beginning to form.

“P-please, I just…I need to know you’re okay.” She paused again, only for a second, before inhaling sharply and lowering her voice. “I _need_ you to be okay. P-please, just… _call me_.”

The silence that followed was deafening. Natasha pulled the phone away from her ear again and hung up, then slowly sat her phone on the desk beneath the outlet. She stared at it for a few long seconds, as if willing it to suddenly start ringing, before turning to face Steve, her eyes wide and glassy.

“He’d dead,” she whispered, her voice cracking.

“You don’t know that,” Steve muttered back half-heartedly.

“If he was alive he’d call me back,” she snapped.

Steve opened his mouth to reassure her, but closed it again and let out a long breath instead. She was right. He didn’t know if Clint was still alive, and the evidence they had didn’t look good.

“Steve, I…” Natasha paused, letting out a long, uneven breath. Steve’s eyes flitted back up to meet hers, just in time for him to notice the tear siding down her cheek, streaking the dirt and dust and blood still on her face. She didn’t bother wiping it away. “If…if the kids are by themselves…I _have_ to go get them.”

The idea of leaving the team - what was left of it - felt a little selfish. Rhodes had been busy dealing with the government all day, and Wakanda was an absolute mess even besides the fact that they’d lost both their king _and_ their princess. There were already reports coming in of heavily increased crime rates around the world, of looting and destruction and terrorist groups taking advantage of the situation.

But the look in Natasha’s eyes…

He couldn’t say no to her. If their roles were reversed - if this was her, if it was Bucky or Sam or Wanda not answering their phones in this situation - he would have already left. And besides, she was right…there was an increasingly good chance at least one of the kids were alone.

Before his brain realized he was doing it, Steve was pushing himself up from the bed and crossing the space between them. He pulled her into his arms and she trailed off with a sharp inhale, her arms wrapping tightly around his waist. Steve buried his face in the crook of her neck, just for a second, just to remind himself that she was still there.

“I’ll let Rhodes know,” he said finally, his voice muffled against her hair. He pressed a kiss to her temple before pulling away to glance down at her. Natasha let out a long, exhausted sigh and averted her gaze.

“They need you here, Steve,” she breathed. “Stay, I’ll-“

“Nat, stop.”

Steve let her go, but only so he could lift his hands to rest on either side of her face, tilting it upwards so she looked him in the eye again. The idea of letting her out of his sight, even for even a second…there was no way. Not now. Not when any minute Thanos could decide that half wasn’t enough, when she could disappear just like everyone else.

Another tear slid down her cheek, and Steve swiped it away with his thumb.

“I’m not letting you go anywhere alone,” he said, his voice sounding much more desperate than he’d intended. She gazed up at him for a few long seconds, guilt flashing in her eyes, and he thought she was going to object again. But instead she nodded. “Grab your phone. Let’s go.”

**DAYS AFTER THE SNAP: 1**

Steve didn’t bother with stealth when he landed the quinjet in front of the Barton’s safehouse. The government had bigger problems right now than chasing down two rogue Avengers in the middle of Missouri. And, if he was being perfectly honest, he didn’t really care anymore. Clint’s house arrest was over in a few days anyway, and ensuring the kids’ safety was much more important.

When the ramp opened and he followed Natasha onto the front yard, the property was quiet. Steve braved a glance over at her, but she was a blank slate. He’d never seen her so focused, her eyes completely empty and her brows creased in determination. She led the way without a word, crossing the yard and pushing open the front door.

The silence that met them inside the house was deafening. Natasha took a few steps into the living room and paused. Steve could see her resolve immediately begin to crumble as she scanned the room, her hands shaking.

“Clint?” she called hesitantly, her voice soft.

There was no answer. She sucked in a deep, uneven breath and exhaled fully before continuing, turning into the kitchen. There was a phone on the counter, and she practically leapt across the kitchen to swipe it off the counter.

“It’s Laura’s,” she breathed as she scrolled through the messages on the home screen.

“There’s no ashes in here,” Steve noticed. As if she didn’t believe him, her eyes dropped to scan the floor, only to find nothing. “She probably just left it in here.”

Natasha didn’t answer. Instead she pursed her lips and sat the phone back down on the counter, letting out a long breath. Wordlessly she turned out of the kitchen, heading into the family room. Steve followed, but almost ran into her when she stopped abruptly.

There were ashes on the sofa. Not quite enough to be human, but just about the right size for a smaller-than-average cat.

Natasha’s jaw tightened as she stared at the pile, her eyes glazing over. She would never dare admit it, but Steve knew how much she loved that cat. He’d drawn her once, a couple years ago. Just a sketch, one he’d been absentmindedly working on. He never thought himself much of a cat person, but something about her soft, jet black fur and wide, bright green eyes had stuck in his mind. Natasha had seen it one day while absentmindedly flipping through his sketchbook, and Steve hadn’t missed the way her expression softened when she realized it was Liho.

He’d given it to her a few days later, and it was one of the few things she’d taken from her room before going on the run. She kept it folded up in a pocket of her backpack, along with some photos of the kids, a beaded bracelet Lila had made her once, and the necklace Steve had gotten her for her birthday.

Steve reached for her, but the second his fingers brushed against the small of her back, Natasha was spinning around and brushing past him back into the kitchen. Her movements were more frantic now, and she searched the kitchen again as if she thought she might have missed something.

“I’m going to check upstairs,” she said finally, turning around again andheading back into the foyer, her voice just a little bit too loud. “Can you check the basement?”

Steve opened his mouth to reply but she’d already disappeared up the stairs, so he headed back into kitchen and opened the door to the basement. It was dark, and when he reached the bottom of the steps and turned on the light, there was nothing. No dust, no evidence of anyone even being down there recently. Steve sighed and headed back upstairs to find Natasha.

“Anything?” he asked, when she appeared at the top of the steps. She shook her head, her brows furrowed.

“I don’t understand,” she breathed, glancing around the living room again when she reached the bottom of the steps, her arms crossed. “Clint’s still on house arrest. Where else would they be?”

“I don’t know,” Steve replied with a sigh. She was right, it was unlikely they’d all have left the house at the same time. Plus, Laura had left her phone. If she’d gone somewhere, especially with the kids, it wasn’t likely she’d have left it behind. “We should check outside. Just in case.”

Natasha thought about that, frowning and pulling her bottom lip under her teeth. But then she nodded, turning back towards the kitchen to exit the house out of the back door. Steve followed her across the gravel driveway, heading towards the shed a little ways away from the house. It seemed as if she was going to check inside of it, but as soon as she rounded the front of it she suddenly stopped dead in her tracks and let out a strangled gasp.

There were ashes _everywhere_.

“ _Shit_ ,” Steve breathed, before he could stop himself. The wind had picked them up and they spread all over the driveway, mixing in with the dust from the gravel. An arrow was stuck in the center of the target hanging on a tree; not far from it on the ground lay another cell phone and a wooden quiver. There were more ashes in the yard, a _lot_ more, where the picnic table was loaded with untouched food, drinks, and condiments.

Steve dragged his eyes away from the cloud of dust swirling across the yard to glance over at Natasha, who hadn’t moved. It seemed all she could do was stare, her mouth gaping open and her eyes wide and glassy. She blindly reached for him, her hand finding his wrist and wrapping tightly around it, her fingernails digging into his skin.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, she moved. She let go of his arm and took a few slow steps forward before dropping to her knees in front of the quiver. She reached for it, carefully picking it up and turning it over. _Lila Kate_ was scratched into the side of it in curly, child-like lettering.

Natasha sucked in a sharp breath that bordered on a sob, and Steve knelt down next to her. She dropped the quiver and reached for the cell phone, frantically turning it on. She typed in the passcode - it must have been Clint’s - and scrolled through it, her hands shaking violently.

Finding nothing, she let it fall from her shaking hands, where it landed in the gravel with a _thud_. She fell back to sit on her heels and her eyes flitted upwards, sweeping over the yard again. Her whole body trembled, and each shaky breath came faster than the last.

“Nat,” Steve said softly.

She didn’t react, and he wondered if she’d even heard him. He hesitantly reached for her, letting his hand fall to rest on the small of her back, but she still didn’t move. She was frozen, her eyes filling with tears she seemed adamant about holding back as she stared at the dust floating across the yard. Steve slid his hand up to rest on her shoulder instead.

“Natasha.”

Finally she looked at him, and the look in her eyes felt like watching Bucky and Wanda turn to dust all over again. He’d never seen her look so _helpless_.

A deep ache throbbed in his chest and he pulled her towards him, wrapping his arms tightly around her. She buried her face against his chest, her hands curling around the fabric of his suit, her entire body shaking with silent sobs.

The compound was empty and eerily quiet when they arrived a few hours later. Steve had helped Natasha off of the jet and upstairs to her old room, and when he’d dropped their bags on the bed and turned back to her, she hadn’t moved. She was staring blankly off to the side, and when Steve followed her gaze, his heart sank in his chest.

There was a framed photo on her nightstand of her, Clint, and Lila. She’d put it there the day she moved in almost three years ago.

“Nat.”

She didn’t respond, so Steve crossed the room towards her. She didn’t seem to register his approach, so he lifted a hand to rest under her chin and gently turn it back towards him. Her eyes were completely _empty_ , and it sent an uneasy feeling flooding through him. He dropped his hand to slide into hers, then tilted his head towards the bathroom.

“Come on.”

She let him guide her into the bathroom, but when he flipped on the light she just stood there as if she wasn’t sure what to do. Steve lifted the hand he still held in his own and turned it over, exposing the underside of her wrist so he could remove her bracelet and pull off her glove. He did the same with the other one before moving on to the harness across her shoulders and her holsters. Then he unzipped her vest and pushed it back off of her shoulders, feeling her eyes on him but avoiding her gaze.

Natasha didn’t object when he started the shower and pulled her in with him. She just stared aimlessly past him while he brushed his hands through her hair, wetting it and working out some of the knots before lathering it with shampoo.

A hot shower with decent soap and nice fluffy towels waiting for them wasn’t a luxury they were used to after the last couple years, but Steve couldn’t bring himself to enjoy it. Instead he focused on Natasha, on cleaning the dust and blood off of her skin. She let him take care of her, not saying a word, putting herself into autopilot. If this was any other day she’d give him that _look_ , the one she gave him when he coddled her too much. Even if she was hurt, she still complained about him taking care of her, despite the fact that she always reluctantly let him do it anyway.

Finally she dropped her gaze and blinked, her brows furrowing. Steve frowned and followed her eyes as she reached for him, her fingers brushinglightly against the skin above the reopened wound on his abdomen.

Truthfully, he’d forgotten about it. He supposed it did hurt, but there was so much else going on that he hadn’t really noticed. It looked worse than it was; it had clotted over hours ago, but would still probably need to be stitched back up. Still, there was blood everywhere, stuck to his skin and staining the water a bright crimson as it swirled around the drain.

Natasha studied the wound, a horrified look in her eyes as if it was her first time seeing it. She reached for a washcloth hanging from a hook on the wall of the shower and wet it down, focusing on cleaning him up. Of course, that only made it start bleeding again; it wasn’t much, but it still caused her to panic uncharacteristically, her breaths suddenly becoming much shallower than they had been a few seconds prior.

“Hey, stop…” He took the washcloth from her and held it against the himself,using his other hand to cup the side of her face and redirect her gaze upwards. “I’m fine. Stitches just broke.”

“How long ago?” she asked in a breathy voice. Her eyes, which had just been eerily emotionless, were now swirling with anger and horror. And fear. She continued before he could answer. “Why the hell didn’t you say anything?”

“I…forgot.” She glared at him. “I’m okay, love. I promise.”

Natasha just frowned, but dropped it. She rinsed the blood off of her hands off in the spray of the shower and turned around, leaving him alone in the stall.

Steve sighed, but let himself slip into autopilot to finish scrubbing the dirt and blood and ashes from his skin and out of his hair, before turning off the water. When returned to the bedroom Natasha was perched on the edge of the bed, dressed in a pair of shorts and one of his t-shirts. She’d thrown her hair up into a sopping wet bun that only held about half of it up, leaving the rest to stick to the back of her neck. There was a first aid kit sitting on the bed next to her, and when Steve reentered the room she glanced up at him and stood, motioning for him to take her place.

Steve pulled on a pair of sweatpants before doing as she said. She knelt down on the floor in front of him and got to work, cleaning away any fresh blood and stitching him back up, her focus sharp and her hands surprisingly steady, all things considered. Once she was done she taped a fresh bandage over it, letting her fingers linger across his skin as she checked her handiwork.

“Don’t do that,” she mumbled finally, her eyes flickering up to meet his. They were empty again. “You hear me? You should have said something.”

“Honestly, I…” Steve paused and let out a long, exhausted breath. Natasha lifted herself up from the floor, moving to stand in front of him between his knees. Steve let his hands rest on her hips, pulling her closer. She gazed down at him, her brows furrowed, and he offered her as much of a smile as he could manage. “I just…forgot. Barely even felt it, though. Promise.”

Natasha continued to frown down at him, lifting her hands to run her fingers through his wet hair and push it off of his forehead, finally coming to rest on the side of his face.

“You’re all I have left,” she whispered, her voice barely audible despite the deafening silence in that surrounded them. “St-Steve, you’re…you’re all I…if something happened to you-“

Steve opened his mouth to stop her, but before he could say anything her lips were against his, hot and desperate. Her hands slid back into his hair again, curling around the shorter strands at the nape of his neck, pulling herself closer. Steve hesitated at first, but the feeling of having her so close, of her lips against his, of the distraction it provided, was almost intoxicating. It let him forget, just for a second. Let him focus on her, on something solid and warm and real. Reminded him that she was still alive.

Finally she moved, leaning further into him and climbing up onto the bed to straddle his lap before deepening the kiss, pulling at his hair a bit to tilt his head back. He could feel the wetness on her skin, taste the salt on her lips, but that only made him need to hold her tighter, his fingers digging into the soft skin of her hips as if she would disappear if he didn’t hold onto her tight enough.

Suddenly Natasha gasped against his lips, but didn’t allow herself to take a breath before she was kissing him again. Steve tried to pull away but she slid one of her hands down to rest on the side of his face, turning him back towards her, barely allowing him to take a breath himself.

“N’tasha,” he mumbled against her lips, but she only kissed him deeper and held him tighter in response. Steve gave in, only for a second, but his lungs were starting to burn and he could feel her trying to gasp for breath between each kiss. Finally he turned away from her, using more of his strength than he normally would to keep her in place. “Nat, _breathe_.”

She did, finally, and once she’d sucked in a deep breath she stilled. Steve let go of her in favor of resting a hand on either side of her face, forcing her eyes to meet his. They were red and glazed with tears that she still seemed adamant about holding back, despite the fact that several had already streaked across her skin. Steve swiped a thumb under each of her eyes, his heart breaking all over again at the look she was giving him.

“St-Steve…I-“ she breathed, but choked on her words and didn’t continue.

“I know.” He slid one of his hands back to cradle the back of her head, pulling her back towards him. She buried her head in the crook of his neck and Steve wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly against him. “I’m right here, love. I’m not going anywhere.”

She shuddered in his arms, but he could tell if it was a silent sob or just her desperation to get enough air into her lungs. Steve tilted his head to place a soft kiss to her temple, blinking back his own tears, desperate not to let her see them. She was always so strong for him…he could be for her. He had to be.

**DAYS AFTER THE SNAP: 2**

When Natasha woke, she hadn’t even remembered falling asleep. It had to have only been for a few hours at the most, because the last thing she remembered before finally dozing off was the sunlight beginning to filter in through the window. It was brighter now, and when she opened her eyes, she immediately turned her head away and buried it in the pillow. She reached blindly towards the other end of the bed, but found it empty.

 _Empty_. Steve wasn’t there.

The wave of panic that followed hit her so suddenly it actually made her nauseous. She twisted around and bolted upright, her heart nearly stopping in her chest when she saw nothing but an empty room.

“St-“

“ _Good morning, Agent Romanoff_ ,” came Friday’s voice, her naturally chipper tone dreadfully out of place. “ _Captain Rogers requested that, immediately upon your waking, I inform you that he is downstairs in the laboratory with Doctor Banner and Colonel Rhodes._ ”

Natasha blinked. It had been so long since she’d been in a Stark-owned building that the disembodied voice echoing around the room threw her off. But then she processed Friday’s words, which allowed her to get enough air into her lungs to take a deep breath and calm herself down.

“Thanks,” she muttered finally. “What time is it?”

“ _It is currently 10:07am_ ,” Friday replied cheerfully.

Natasha just hummed in response. Apparently she’d slept longer than she initially thought. She glanced over at the door, processing the information Friday had given her again. She’d said Steve was with Bruce and Rhodey…they must have gotten back to the compound sometime in the middle of the night. They really needed to have some kind of debrief, to sit down and try to make sense of what was happening.

The mere idea sent a deep ache through her chest. Even if she wanted to face the team right now, she didn’t think she _could_.

But she had to. If for no other reason than for Steve, who had somehow managed to get her back to the compound, get her cleaned up, and allowed her to get some sleep. He’d picked her up off of Clint’s driveway and hadn’t let her go, despite the fact that he’d just lost everyone he’d cared about too; hell, this wasn’t even the first time it had happened to him, either. She should have been the one to be there for _him,_ not the other way around.

Natasha sucked in a deep breath, closed her eyes, and exhaled sharply. She had to get her shit together. She was the goddamn Black Widow. She was trained for this, she’d learned decades ago how to compartmentalize and do what she needed to do regardless of how she felt. And right now she had a job to do.

Finally she shoved the blankets off of her legs and swung them around to hang off of the bed. She made her way into the bathroom, averting her gaze away from the dusty, blood-soaked pile her and Steve’s suits had made on the floor. She pulled her hair down from the half-bun she’d twisted it into the night before, taking another deep breath to steady herself as she stared at her exhausted reflection in the mirror.

Her hair had curled oddly at the edges, so she focused on wetting her hands down and running her fingers through it, smoothing it down and working out the knots with her fingers. Then she brushed her teeth. Splashed some water on her face. Dug through her long-abandoned closet to pull out a tank top, a pair of leggings, and a simple black zip-up athletic jacket. One step at a time, one distraction leading into another. She had to focus, had to be methodical in her actions. This was a mission, and the end goal was making it downstairs before the ache in her heart and the lump in her throat and the burning in her eyes overwhelmed her and caused her to fall back down again.

She still had a team to lead, after all…even if most of them were dead.

The compound was quiet as she made her way downstairs to the lab.When she passed through it she saw Bruce and Rhodes huddled together in a small room off the side of it, talking lowly to themselves. She kept her footsteps light, scanning for Steve as she snuck quietly across the room.

She didn’t find him until she’d peeked into the common area on the other side of the lab. He was in the kitchen, leaning back against the counter, his eyes closed and holding a mug loosely in one hand. He looked like he was asleep.

Natasha crossed the room, shuffling her feet a bit so he’d hear her and she wouldn’t startle him. But he didn’t, and it wasn’t until she’d approached him and rested her hand gently on his arm that he jumped and his eyes flew open.

“Hey,” he said softly, his voice raspy. He blinked a few times.

“You alright?” Natasha replied, her brows furrowing as she took in his appearance. His eyes were red and a bit glazed over, with heavy bags underneath them. It took him a second, as if he hadn’t comprehended her words right away, but then he nodded.

“Yeah,” he insisted, blinking a few more times and shaking his head a bit. “Yeah. Just waiting…for the…”

He trailed off as he glanced behind him at the coffee pot. It was full and had stopped running, which seemed to come as a surprise to him. Natasha took the mug from his hands, then stepped around him to fill it with fresh coffee.

“You get any sleep last night?” she asked, gently handing the mug back to him. He stared down at it for a few long seconds, processing, before lifting it to his lips and taking a sip. He didn’t even flinch as he swallowed it down, despite how hot it was.

“No,” he said finally. He gulped more of the coffee down, as if it the caffeine would have any effect on him whatsoever. “Sorry for…for leaving you up there,” he added, briefly twisting around to set the half-full mug on the counter behind him. “Took you so long to fall asleep. Didn’t wanna wake you.”

“It’s okay,” Natasha replied softly. She felt a bit guilty, if she were being honest. She knew he needed less sleep than the average person, but by her count - when factoring in how many different time zones they’d been in - he was going on about three days without.

She reached up to let her hand rest against the side of his face and he leaned into her palm, gazing blearily down at her.

“You should go try to get some rest, _solnyshko_.”

“Can’t,” he muttered back. “Gotta debrief. Friday’s runnin’ numbers right now, Rhodes and Banner found somethin’…some weird signal.”

He let out a long breath as he trailed off. Natasha slid her fingers back through his hair and nudged him towards her. He went willingly and all but collapsed against her, burying his face in the crook of her neck and sliding his arms around her waist.

“I’m so tired, Nat,” he mumbled against her shoulder, his voice barely audible. An ache shot through her chest and she tightened her hold on him, turning her head to press her lips lightly against his temple.

“I know,” she breathed back, her own voice cracking.

“ _Pardon the interruption_ ,” came Friday’s voice suddenly. “ _As requested, Captain Rogers, I have successfully created an algorithm that will aid you in gauging the scale of the global catastrophe_.”

Steve sucked in a deep breath and Natasha reluctantly let him go so he could stand up straight. She reached past him and picked up his abandoned cup of coffee, taking a sip of it herself before handing it back to him and turning to cross the room.

As they approached the giant circular conference table, the holographic display in the center of it came to life. A giant projection of the earth popped up, followed by different counters labeled by country. After a second, the numbers began to shoot upwards, into the thousands…tens of thousands…millions. Natasha could only watch, her eyes flicking from country to country and then to the larger counter in the middle, which was displaying the total.

They knew what had happened, that Thanos had snapped his fingers and half of the world’s population - the _universe’s_ population - had ceased to exist. Natasha didn’t have to tune into the news to know the world was in chaos, that millions upon millions of people had turned to dust at the same time. But she’d been distracted, so overwhelmed by what was happening in her own circle that she hadn’t taken a second to think about just how many people half of the population was.

But there was no denying it anymore. As she watched the numbers go up she felt overwhelmed in a completely different way. And this data was _just_ those who had been reported as missing; there were plenty of people who hadn’t been reported, or who lived in areas unequipped to handle an accurate count. There were people who had been killed by cars veering off the road, by planes falling from the sky. From the violence and looting that had sprung up among all the chaos. These numbers were staggering…but it wasn’t even all of them.

Natasha hadn’t realized her eyes had filled with tears until she blinked and her vision blurred over. Steve swore under his breath as he sat his coffee down on the table and leaned forward.

“This is a nightmare,” he muttered lowly. Natasha swallowed thickly against the burning in the back of her throat, her eyes flitting from the global counter to Russia, then to the US.

“I’ve had better nightmares,” she whispered back, her voice cracking.

“Hey,” came Rhodes’ voice from behind them. Steve turned around, but Natasha’s gaze lingered for a few more seconds. The numbers just _kept going up_. “So, that…thing, just stopped doing…whatever the hell it was doing.”

Finally she dragged her eyes away from the hologram, glancing over at Rhodes before meeting Steve’s gaze. She shot him a confused look, and he nodded in Rhodey’s direction.

“They were scanning for Thanos,” he explained as she followed him towards the lab. “Found some kind of extraterrestrial signal. Followed it to Fury and Hill’s last known location.”

“What’s it signaling?” Natasha asked, her jaw tightening against that confirmation. She’d tried to contact Maria the day before, but had no luck. She hadn’t been able to contact Coulson or May, either. She didn’t wanted to think about what that probably meant.

Rhodey shrugged.

“No idea. No connection to any known satellites or spacecrafts. Doesn’t seem to be SWORD’s, either,” he replied. Bruce turned around as they approached, nodding a hesitant greeting at Natasha. Judging by the pity in his eyes, Natasha assumed Steve had updated them already.

“What’ve we got?” she asked Bruce. He glanced behind him, gesturing towards a giant piece of machinery on the other end of the room. There was a thick piece of protective glass separating them from the mechanical arm, which was holding a small device. It looked old, like the pager SHIELD had given her back when she’d first joined.

“Whatever signal it was sending finally crapped out,” Bruce explained. Natasha took a few steps towards the glass, examining the device.

“I thought we bypassed the battery?” Steve asked next to her.

“We did,” Rhodes replied. He approached the glass as well, exhaling sharply as he crossed his arms over his chest. “It’s still plugged in, it just…stopped.”

“Reboot it. Send the signal again,” Steve replied after a few seconds of consideration.

“Yeah but…we don’t even know what this _is_.” Bruce argued.

“Fury did,” Natasha muttered lowly. She let out a long, exhausted breath. “Just _do it_ , please.” Bruce let out a sigh next to her, but she saw him nod out of the corner of her eye. “You tell me the second you get a signal.” She shot a glance over at Rhodes, who nodded as well. “I wanna know who’s on the other end of that thing.”

She turned around, but the second she did, she stopped dead in her tracks. There was a woman standing behind her, one she’d never seen before. And one that definitely wasn’t authorized to enter the compound.

“Where’s Fury?” the woman demanded, her voice low and even.

“Whoa, _what?_ ” Rhodes breathed behind her. “Who the hell are you?”

The woman’s gaze flicked over to him briefly, then to Steve. Natasha thought she saw a flicker of recognition flash through her eyes.

“Answer the question,” she said finally, ignoring Rhodey’s question and turning back to Natasha.

“How did you get in here?” Steve demanded evenly. She ignored him too.

Natasha glanced down at the combat suit she was wearing. That symbol, the golden starburst across her chest…it was so _familiar_ …

And then her eyes widened as it suddenly it came to her.

“I...know you,” she breathed. She paused, racking her brain for the name. “Captain…Captain Danvers.”

The woman stilled, narrowing her eyes at Natasha.

“How do you know who I am?”

“I’ve known Nick for twenty years. And Coulson. They’ve mentioned you a couple times.”

Finally Danvers dragged her eyes away from Natasha, eyeing them all carefully, her gaze lingering on Steve again.

“Captain Rogers.” Steve nodded, and Natasha could feel him relax a bit next to her. Danvers took half a step back, crossing her arms as she glanced back over to Natasha. “And you…must be Romanoff. Fury’s mentioned you too. Carol Danvers.”

“This…whatever it is,” Bruce said hesitantly. Carol turned her attention to him and he nodded towards the device. “You’re the one it was signaling?”

“I gave it to Nick years ago. Before he took over SHIELD.” She eyed the pager carefully behind the glass. “I told him it was for emergencies only.”

“Well, I’d say this qualifies,” Rhodes muttered lowly. Carol tore her eyes away from the device and glanced over at him.

“What happened?”

Natasha glanced over to Steve and briefly met his uneasy gaze.

“You mean…you…” Bruce trailed off, hesitating. Carol looked to him now. “You don’t know?”

“Know _what?_ ” she demanded impatiently. Rhodes let out a long breath.

“You might wanna sit down for this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god has it really been four months i am the _worst_
> 
> and before you all come at me for dusting liho and lucky, remember that they would have had to be living in the compound with natasha when thanos bombs it, and there's no way they would have survived it. so i'm _actually_ saving their lives. nothing i do is on accident (:
> 
> anyway, you can thank wandavision for the updates, because after episode eight made a few of my headcanons actually possible, i was finally able to finish this up. and if you're not watching it...you need to be.
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/capsiclewidow) | [tumblr](https://capsiclewidow.tumblr.com)


	7. Chapter 7

**DAYS AFTER THE SNAP: 22**

The compound was silent. If Natasha didn’t know any better, it would have been easy to believe she was the only one there as she walked the halls.

But it had been quiet for weeks. Almost three, to be exact, since they’d all returned to upstate New York. But everyone mostly kept to themselves, which - if she was being completely honest with herself - she didn’t mind much.

Pepper and Happy had joined them a few days after the Snap, after Carol had set off to find Thanos and Tony. Rhodey mostly hovered around Pepper, both for her support and his own. Rocket milled around making sarcastic comments every once in a while, but considering the planet was so foreign to him, Natasha got the feeling their current living situation made him quite uncomfortable. She rarely saw Thor, and when she did, it was only in passing. He didn’t talk much. Bruce had been holed up in Tony’s lab since day one, working day and night trying to do whatever he could to search for anyone who was still missing, holding out hope that not everyone had disappeared.

And then, of course, there was Steve.

He was trying to be strong. Natasha knew he was. But every day that went by without answers caused the cracks to grow wider, caused his faith to crumble just a little bit more. Every hour of waiting for news from Carol, of waiting for a breakthrough from Bruce, of waiting for something - _anything_ \- to give them hope of fixing this mess…it was taking a toll on him.

It was like living in a bubble, a haze that blurred one long day into the next. He’d take a deep breath and lead the team during the day, but at night he’d be silent, sit in bed scrolling through endless headlines and newsfeeds on a tablet despite her insistence that he shouldn’t. The news never changed, and all it did was upset him. He’d wake up from nightmares, some of the worst she remembered him having, and when she woke up from her own, he’d pull her tight against his chest and hold her until the sun came up and the cycle beganall over again.

It had now been almost three weeks since Carol left, and after yet another day with no new developments, Steve had slipped away sometime in the afternoon. Natasha eventually found him in the locker room of the gym, his fists curled so tightly around the edges of the countertop that his knuckles were bright white. She was a little surprised that the granite hadn’t cracked. He was staring into the mirror, a crease between his brows.

Natasha pushed herself up from where she’d been leaning in the doorway, making sure her footsteps were audible so as not to sneak up on him. His gaze shifted to hers through the mirror but he didn’t move, not until she’d wrapped her arms around him from behind, letting her forehead rest against his spine. He let go of the counter to slide his fingers between hers, squeezing her hand tightly.

They stood in silence for a few minutes, and Natasha closed her eyes, content to just be there with him, to have him safely and securely in her arms. She hadn’t been able to shake that feeling - she knew he felt it as well - ever since the Snap…like if she let go of him for too long, he’d disappear. Finally he let out a long sigh and dropped his head, and Natasha lifted hers to glance up at him from over his shoulder. That’s when she noticed his shaving kit on the counter.

She pulled away from him, sliding a hand up to his shoulder and turning him towards her. Then she reached for him, letting her fingers graze lightly across the scruff on his chin.

“I like the beard,” she said softly. His eyes flitted up to meet her gaze, and the corner of his lips curved upwards into a tiny smile.

“I thought it was just practical?”

“It was.” She slid her hand down the side of his face so she could run the pad of her thumb against his chin, then across his lower lip. “But it’s also pretty sexy.”

Steve chuckled lowly, and it sent a warmth through Natasha’s chest for the first time in weeks. She offered him a soft smile before pushing herself up onto her toes to press her lips softly against his.

“It feels…I don’t know.” He let out a long breath as she pulled away, his brows furrowed again and the moment gone. He reached up and rubbed his palm against his jawline. “Wrong. I don’t feel like myself.”

“I know,” Natasha replied softly. “Do you want me to cut your hair too?”

He glanced up at her again, unsure. She slid her hand up to brush it back from his face. It had only been about a month since the last time she’d cut it, but it grew pretty quickly. And now that the government - what was left of it, anyway - had better things to worry about than chasing them across the globe, it wasn’t like they needed to hide their identities anymore. She’d only kept up her own stubborn roots out of routine, as if continuing to bleach the red out of them every couple weeks would make things seem semi-normal.

It hadn’t.

“Yeah,” he breathed finally.

Natasha offered him another smile and pulled away, reaching for the bag on the counter. She shifted the contents around until she found her scissors, then instructed him to wet down his hair and sit on the floor.

She took her seat on the bench behind him and wrapped a towel around his shoulders, easily falling back into their routine. Two years ago she never would have thought she’d enjoy cutting his hair so much, but there was something that felt so intimate about it. So _domestic_. He’d even help her sometimes, when she needed a trim, using his steady hands and presice artist’s eye to even her hair out in the back.

This felt normal. _Comfortable_. It let her believe, at least for a second, that Sam would walk in and take a seat next to her, chatting with them while she worked away at Steve’s hair. That Wanda would wander in and ask if Natasha could touch up her roots for her when she was done. That Steve would sit impatiently in front of her, fidgeting endlessly, and would be so distracted by pulling her into his lap and kissing her breathless afterwards that he’d forget to even check the cut in the mirror.

He was still this time, and silent, lost in his thoughts. Natasha didn’t bother asking him how short he wanted it; instead she worked quietly, trimming the top to only about an inch longer than it had been before they’d gone on the run. She knew he preferred to push it back rather than trying to style the front.

When she was done, she went back into his shaving kit for the electric razor, then dropped down to her knees in front of him on the floor. She trimmed the sides short, the way she knew he liked it. When she finished she sat the razor down on the floor next to her and removed the towel from around his shoulders before sliding her hands up to rest on either side of his face.

“Better?”

“Yeah.” He smiled softly, and this one looked at least a little more genuine than it had before. He leaned forward to press his lips against hers, raising a hand to slide it into her hair at the nape of her neck and pull her closer. “Thanks,” he added, his lips moving against hers.

“You’re welcome.” Natasha pulled away, rubbing the palm of her hand over his jaw. “You still wanna shave?”

Steve huffed out a laugh that didn’t meet his eyes, but he still offered her a small smile that she was certain was only for her benefit.

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” She leaned back onto her heels and shrugged, lowering her voice. “At least I won’t have to deal with the beard burn anymore.”

“ _Nat,”_ he groaned, and despite the fact that they were alone, his ears still blushed pink. Natasha grinned, swiping the razor off of the floor before she stood. She offered him a hand and he took it, letting her help him to his feet.

“You hungry?” she asked, packing away the razor and scissors. She handed him the bag. He took it from her and nodded. “I’ll go make something for dinner.”

“ _You’re_ going to cook?”

“No, I’m going to try to find enough food to feed you,” she shot back, rolling her eyes; but she couldn’t help the way her lips curved upwards into a small smile. For a second this seemed normal, the bickering back and forth that always drove Sam crazy. And for a second she almost forgot.

Almost.

She leaned up for one more kiss before leaving him, making her way downstairs to the kitchen in the lab, instead of the one up in the communal living area they all used to share. It had become a silent agreement between the group not to occupy that space. Natasha had effectively avoided it, only using the back staircases that bypassed it and went straight to their room. She wasn’t ready for that yet…none of them were.

The common area off of Tony and Bruce’s lab was empty, but Natasha got a glimpse of Thor outside on the patio, dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie Steve had given him a few weeks ago. He was slumped forward on a bench, staring at the ground, his axe leaning up against the wall next to him and a six pack of beer on the ground at his feet. The only other person in the vicinity was Bruce, who could typically be found in the lab at all hours; he must have worked himself until he was so exhausted, he’d passed out on one of the sofas on the other end of the room.

Natasha remained silent as she moved around the kitchen so as not to wake him and began searching for some kind of dinner. When they’d lived here two years ago, before the mess of the Accords, they ordered out most nights. That wasn’t really an option anymore - most of the small businesses in the next town had closed after losing half of their staff and most of their customers - so she and Rhodey had traded off making trips to the closest grocery store. Unfortunately shopping for a super soldier, an Asgardian, a raccoon who hated all of their food, and a handful of Avengers wasn’t all that easy, especially for a group of people who never did much cooking anyway.

Natasha had just settled on heating up a stack of freezer-burnt frozen pizzas - Steve could eat at least two of them on his own - when suddenly the room began to shake. She glanced out onto the patio where Thor was still sitting, but he looked just as confused as she did, his gaze lifted up to the sky.

The rumbling got stronger, and louder. Bruce finally woke with a start, letting out a low, Hulk-like growl, and Natasha shot a concerned glance over at him. He sat up - she swore he looked a little bit green - and blinked sleepily over at her.

“Earthquake?” he muttered, his voice low from sleep. Natasha closed the freezer, her gaze returning to the sky out of the long wall of windows.

“I dunno,” she replied, crossing the room towards the patio. Thor, seemingly loosing interest, had gone back to his beer. She couldn’t see anything from this angle, but the shaking was getting stronger.

_Not again._

The second the thought crossed her mind it filled her with dread and she snapped into action, turning out of the common room and grabbing her jacket on the way, which she’d left hanging over a chair at the conference table. She all but sprinted through the lab, swiping a pistol off of a countertop before heading towards the stairs that would lead them outside, with Bruce right behind her. Steve and Rhodes seemed to have had the same idea, because they both came rushing outside at almost the same time. Pepper had trailed behind them, but stayed back when they headed out onto the lawn.

“Do we know what this is?” Rhodes asked, his voice thick with exhaustion.

“Friday said something entered the atmosphere, but she doesn’t know what,” Steve answered.

Natasha shot a glance over at him, blinking a few times when she realized he was already clean shaven. He seemed exhausted too, but unlike Rhodey, it was showing in his face as he peered up towards the sky. She followed his gaze as a huge object appeared around the side of the compound. It took her a second to realize that it was a giant ship, distracted by the ball of energy underneath it, supporting it’s descent.

It was Carol.

Pepper must have realized it at the same moment, because Natasha heard her gasp from behind her. A split second later she was sprinting across the yard ahead of them.

Carol sat the ship gently onto the ground, and the hatch opened up at almost the same instant. There were two figures just inside, and when Natasha realized one of them was Tony, a wave of relief washed over her and she paused, letting out a long breath. The other figure - she didn’t recognize them, but they seemed to be alien - was holding him up, and he stumbled as they headed for the ramp.

The relief Natasha had just felt was suddenly washed away by overwhelming dread as the reality set in. Tony had been alone, most likely without food and water - and possibly even proper amounts of oxygen - for weeks. Steve sprinted ahead of her towards the ship and met them halfway down the ramp, grabbing ahold of Tony and helping him down the the ground.

Once steady, they suddenly stopped. Tony was muttering something to Steve, whose face fell. Natasha couldn’t hear them, but their conversation was cut short by Pepper.

“Oh my god,” she breathed, her voice cracking, and then she was pulling him away from Steve and throwing her arms around his neck. Steve glanced away, briefly meeting Natasha’s gaze with a troubled, uncomfortable look on his face. When Pepper pulled away Tony leaned over to press a kiss against her temple, and Steve stepped in again, helping her guide him back towards the compound.

**DAYS AFTER THE SNAP: 23**

No one got much sleep that night. Bruce had immediately rushed Tony to the infirmary, hooking him up to an IV with fluids and nutrients, and tending to the untreated wound on his side. Pepper and Happy hovered around the medical wing all night, and Natasha pulled Steve back into the common area where he could pace anxiously without getting into anyone’s way. She forced herself to compartmentalize, concentrating only on getting him and Pepper to eat, and eventually forcing Steve to sleep, at least for a few hours. She knew he was exhausted.

Early the next morning they gathered in the common area to compare notes. At Tony’s request Natasha had, reluctantly, pulled up their database of missing people. The holographic display was cycling through the photos and Tony watched from his wheelchair with an expression that was equal parts horrified and angry.

He and Nebula - the alien who had arrived with him - filled them in on what had happened. The two of them along with Peter, the rest of Nebula and Rocket’s team, and Dr. Steven Strange had ambushed Thanos on his home planet of Titan, only for him to still obtain the stone. The two of them were the only ones to survive. Peter, Strange, and everyone else had turned to dust.

“Well, I guess now we know it’s not just Earth,” Rhodey muttered bitterly.

Natasha opened her mouth to reply, but Clint’s photo popped up on the display. She froze, her chest tightening so suddenly that she couldn’t breathe. She tried to force herself to look away, but she couldn’t; it was as if his photo was staring straight at her, and only her.

Clint’s photo disappeared, only to be replaced by James’. Natasha vaguely registered that Rhodey and Carol had continued speaking, but their voices sounded muffled. She felt her hands start to tremble, followed by the rest of her body.

“Nat,” she heard finally, Steve’s warm, concerned voice cutting softly through the haze. Tony realized what she’d been looking at and glanced over at her, his eyes filled with pity. She dragged her eyes away from the projector, meeting Steve’s gaze briefly before directing her attention back to Rhodes.

“It’s been twenty-three days since Thanos came to Earth,” Rhodey continued. Natasha ignored Sam’s photo popping up in her peripheral.

“World governments are…in pieces,” she added, taking a long breath to steady herself. _Focus_. “The parts that are still working are trying to take a census, and it looks like…he did…” She paused again, dropping her gaze to the floor. “He did exactly what he said he was gonna do. Thanos wiped out-“ She glanced up again, her eyes falling on Carol. She was staring at Nick’s photo, her eyes glazed over with tears. “- _fifty percent_ of all living creatures.”

The silence in the room was deafening. Natasha could practically feel the tension radiating off of Steve where he was leaning back against the conference table behind her as Tony watched the holograms. Then, finally, he took a long breath and looked up, directly at Steve.

“Where is he now?” he asked. “Where?”

“We don’t know,” Steve replied bitterly. “He just…opened a portal and walked through.”

Tony huffed irritably. Natasha glanced over at Steve; he’d averted his gaze back to the floor, his jaw tight. Tony moved his wheelchair back a bit, pointing out onto the patio where Thor was sitting.

“What’s wrong with him?”

“Well he’s pissed,” Rocket chimed in. Tony frowned and redirected his attention towards where Rocket was sitting on the floor across the room. “He thinks he failed. Which of course he did, but there’s a lotta that goin’ around, ain’t there?”

“Honestly, until this exact second, I thought you were a Build A Bear,” Tony replied.

“Maybe I am,” Rocket muttered.

“We’ve been hunting Thanos for three weeks now,” Steve cut in. “Deep space scans and satellites, and we’ve got nothin’.” He paused, letting out a breath and glancing in Tony’s direction again. “Tony, you fought him-“

“Who told you that?” Tony interrupted. “I didn’t _fight him_. No. He wiped my face with a _planet_ while the Bleeker Street magician gave away the stone. That’s what happened, there was no _fight_ -“

“Okay,” Steve replied through gritted teeth.

“‘Cause he’s _unbeatable_ ,” Tony continued, as if Steve hadn’t spoken.

“Did he give you any clues…any coordinates, anything?”

Tony scoffed, raising his hand to his forehead in a sarcastic salute. Natasha glanced over at Steve, who let out an irritated breath.

“I saw this coming a few years back. I had a vision, didn’t wanna believe it. Thought I was dreaming-“

“Tony, I’m gonna need you to focus-“ Steve began, pushing himself back up onto his feet, but Tony cut him off.

“And I needed _you_ ,” he snapped. Steve froze, the anger in his eyes quickly melting into guilt. “As in _past tense_. That _trumps_ what you need. It’s too late, buddy. Sorry.”

Natasha shot another cautious glance over at Steve. She adjusted herself towards him but he stiffened again, so she paused.

“You know what I need?” Tony continued, raising his voice as he smashed the untouched bowl of oatmeal sitting on the table in front of him. It clattered loudly, it’s contents spilling all over the table, and Steve actually flinched. Tony pushed himself shakily up from his wheelchair. “I need a _shave_. And…and I believe I remember telling _all_ of you-“ He paused to reach up and rip the IV out of his arm. Rhodey protested and tried to stop him, but he ignored him. “-alive or otherwise, that what we needed was a suit of armor around the world!” His averted his gaze over to Natasha. “Remember that? Whether it impacted our _precious freedoms_ or not. That’s what we _needed_.”

“Well that didn’t work out, did it?” Steve replied lowly. Tony ignored him.

“I said we’d lose, you said, ‘we’ll do that together too.’ Well guess what, Cap? We _lost_. And you weren’t there.” Steve sucked in a slow, shaky breath, his jaw tightening. Rhodey stepped forward as Tony stumbled a bit, grabbing onto his shoulders to keep him upright. “But that’s what we do, right? Best work after the fact? We’re the Avengers? The _Ah-_ vengers? Not the _Pre-_ vengers? Right?”

“Okay. You made your point, now sit down, okay?” Rhodey cut in, but Tony ignored him too.

“No, no, here’s my p- you know what, she’s _great_ by the way,” he said, pointing at Carol over Rhodey’s shoulder.

“Just _sit down_.”

“We need you. You’re new blood,” Tony continued, pushing past Rhodey and taking a few unsteady steps towards Carol. This close, Natasha could see the sweat gathering on his brow, and the glaze in his eyes. He moved past Carol and turned towards Steve. “Buncha tired old mules…I got _nothing_ for you, Cap. I got no _coordinates_ , no clues, no strategies, no options, zero, zip, _nada_. No trust. _Liar._ ”

He paused, his face only inches from Steve’s, then suddenly reached up and ripped the Arc-Reactor type device off of his chest. Then he grabbed Steve’s hand and shoved it into his palm. His breaths were shallow now, his entire body shaking.

“Here, take this. You find him, you put that on. And you _hide_.”

With that his knees gave out. Steve and Rhodey both lept into action, grabbing him before he hit the floor.

“Tony-“

“I’m _fine,”_ he insisted, looking dazed as he continued mumbling incoherently. Then he fell sideways, suddenly out cold.

“ _Bruce!_ ” Natasha called, but he’d already hurried in from his lab, closely followed by Pepper. He shooed them all away, and together he and Rhodey got Tony up off of the ground and moved him back to the infirmary.

The room fell into an uncomfortable silence. Steve stared after Tony, his mouth gaping open and his eyes filled with guilt. Carol glanced between the two of them before retreating to the lab.

“The fuck you do to piss _him_ off?” Rocket muttered, pushing himself up off of the floor. He huffed irritably and went out onto the patio where Thor had watched the entire thing through the glass, leaving Natasha alone with Steve.

He hadn’t moved, had barely breathed by the looks of it. Natasha crossed the space between them, resting her hand on his arm to get his attention.

“Steve.” He ignored her, so she turned him gently towards her, away from the lab, her voice softening. “Babe, look at me.”

He did, finally. His eyes were glazed, and he stared down at her, his mouth gaping open.

“I…I don’t-“

“He’s not in his right mind, okay?” Steve sucked in a shaky breath in response. “He’s been through hell the last few weeks. He didn’t mean-“

“Of course he meant it,” Steve said weakly, cutting her off. He held her gaze for a few more seconds before letting it drop to the device still in his hand. “He’s right.”

“Steve-“

“I…we…we should’ve…if we’d all been there-“

“What would it have done?” His eyes flitted back up to meet hers. “Tell me. What difference would it have made?” He didn’t have an answer. She raised a hand to rest her palm against the side of his face, rubbing the pad of her thumb back and forth across his cheekbone. “Tony was right about one thing, Thanos was unbeatable. It didn’t matter how many people we had.” She paused, letting out a long sigh. “We still would have lost,” she added, no louder than a breath.

“I should have just signed the damn-“

“What did we say about blaming ourselves for the past?” Steve opened his mouth to argue, but she slid her hand down to cover his lips with the tips of her fingers. “Thanos had _five_ infinity stones, Steve. We were _never_ going to beat him.”

“We could have.” Natasha pulled her gaze away from Steve to glance over at Thor, who had just entered from the patio. He crossed the room, pulling the door of the refrigerator open so violently Natasha was a bit shocked it was still attached. He pulled out a can of beer and sat down at the dining table as he popped it open. “‘You should have gone for the head.’ That’s what he told me.” He stared down at the can in his hand, almost disgustedly, as if he suddenly didn’t want it anymore. “Right before he snapped his fingers. And he was right.”

“He had a point,” Rocket muttered. Thor didn’t react, but Natasha shot him a dirty look.

“I think you boys are giving yourselves too much credit,” she said, turning back to Steve. She offered him a small smile, which he didn’t return. She slid her hand into his, then gently pulled him towards the lab. “Come on.”

“I don’t think I should-“

“Yes, you should. Because despite hating each other, you still care about him and his wellbeing.”

Steve just sighed, but reluctantly let her lead the way through the lab. Tony was still unconscious. Pepper and Rhodes stood on either side of his bed, talking lowly with Bruce. Carol waited in the hall, watching them but not, her eyes distant as if she was focusing on something else entirely.

“Bruce gave him a sedative,” came Rhodes’ voice, and Natasha glanced up at him. “He’s gonna probably be out for the rest of the day.”

“You guys take care of him, and I’ll bring him a Xorrian elixir when I come back,” Carol said, turning suddenly back into the lab.

“Where are you going?” Steve called after her.

“To kill Thanos,” she replied, not bothering with a glance back. Natasha met Steve’s gaze briefly before following her.

“Hey,” she called, and Carol finally paused, turning around to face her. “You know, we usually work as a team here and uh…between you and I, morale’s a little fragile.”

“We realize up there’s more your territory, but this is our fight too,” Steve added behind her.

“You even know where he is?” Rhodey asked. Carol glanced between the three of them, looking almost amused.

“I know people who might,” she shot back.

“Don’t bother.” Natasha glanced over Carol’s shoulder, where Nebula had been standing in the doorway of the common area. She hadn’t been seen all morning, and certainly not hanging around the lab. “I can tell you where Thanos is.”

“How?” Steve asked skeptically. Nebula eyed the three of them carefully before looking him in the eye.

“He is my father.”

Natasha shared an uneasy glanced with Steve. He narrowed his eyes a bit, processing that information. Then he took a deep breath and nodded.

“Alright. I’ll get the rest of the team.”

With that he turned around, returning to the infirmary. Carol and Nebula looked to Natasha expectantly, to which she nodded towards the common room before leading the way.

Steve joined them a minute later, accompanied by Bruce and Rhodey, leaving Pepper to keep an eye on Tony. Bruce hung back, shooting Natasha a questioning look, but Rhodes addressed Nebula directly.

“You know where to find him?” he asked bluntly. Nebula turned her head slowly from where she was leaning against a pillar next to the window, considering him carefully before averting her gaze again.

“Thanos spent a long time trying to perfect me,” she said lowly, almost as if she was speaking to herself. “And when he worked he talked about his _great plan_.” She paused. “Even disassembled I wanted to please him. I’d ask, where would we go once his plan was complete? And his answer was always the same.” She pushed herself up from the doorframe and crossed over to the conference table, leaning over it on her hands. “To The Garden.”

“That’s cute,” Rhodes muttered. “Thanos has a retirement plan.”

“So where is he?” Steve asked, ignoring Rhodey’s comment. He circled the table behind Natasha as Rocket activated the holographic display in the center of it. An image of the Earth appeared.

“When Thanos snapped his fingers, Earth became ground zero for a power surge of ridiculously cosmic proportions. No one’s ever seen anything like it.” The protection exploded, mimicking the effect of the Snap. “Until two days ago.” The image changed, zooming in to a planet Natasha had never seen before. “On this planet.”

“Thanos is there,” Nebula said softly.

Natasha leaned forward for a better look at the projection. The energy surge was identical to the one that had spread over the earth.

“He used the stones again,” she breathed.

“Hey hey hey hey, we’d be going in short handed, you know?” Bruce said behind her with an uneasy chuckle. Rhodey sighed.

“He’s still got the stones, so-“

“So let’s get them,” Carol cut in, her eyes wide as she stared at the hologram. Her gaze shifted over to Steve, who was watching it thoughtfully. “Use them to bring everyone back.”

“ _Just_ like that?” Bruce huffed.

“Yeah.” Natasha glanced up at Steve, who was now looking to Carol. “Just like that.”

“Even if…there’s a- a _small_ chance that we can undo this…” She glanced between the three of them, he gaze finally landing on Steve. His eyes met hers, uncertain but determined as he nodded. “I mean, we owe it to everyone who’s not in this room to _try_.”

“ _If_ we do this, how do we know it’s gonna end any differently than it did before?” Bruce argued.

“Because before you didn’t have me.”

Rhodey huffed irritably. “Hey, new girl…everybody in this room is about that superhero life,” he said defensively. Carol shot him a bored look. “And if you don’t mind my asking, where the hell have _you_ been all this time?”

“There are a lot of other planets in the universe,” she replied evenly, that amused look back on her face. “And unfortunately, they didn’t have you guys.”

Rhodes glanced to Steve, who could only offer half a shrug of agreement in response.

Suddenly Thor stood and crossed the room, his footsteps heavy against the hardwood. He stopped right in front of Carol and lifted his arm. With a metallic _whirr_ , Stormbreaker came flying across the room and into his hand.

She didn’t even flinch.

“I like this one,” Thor said finally, after studying her carefully for a few long seconds, glancing briefly over to Steve. Natasha did the same, to find that Steve hadn’t even been paying attention. He was still staring at the projection, and she couldn’t stop her lips from curving upwards when she saw the look on his face.

He looked like Captain America again.

“Let’s go get this son of a bitch,” he muttered lowly, the anger and determination thick in his voice. He lifted his gaze to meet Natasha’s, as if looking for confirmation. She nodded. “Everyone suit up.”

A thrill surged through her at his words, ones he hadn’t heard him say in years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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